Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many believe that primary schools focus most of there course on formal learning. I totally agree with this view because formal learning is the most common way to learn something and some parents also believe it is the best way to learn in many developing countries.

One of the most common way to learn any skill ranging from graphic designing to basic computering is learned through formal learning. It is budget friendly and widely available so most of the schools prefer using formal learning. For instance, a newly opened school will most likely use formal learning on most of its period as students are more familiar with it and they will not required expensive resources to operate. Similarly, parents are also one of the main reason for formal learning to be on spotlight. As we all know most of the parents on Asian countries believe that formal learning is the only way to learn new skill they want certificate not the actual content in it. For example, in most of the asian countries parents have the backward thinking, where they think if their child is not on books he not learning which leads schools to adapt to it and make formal learning main focus.

Playing is the most important part of a childern development. It helps them grow in both mental as well as physical aspects. When children play their connection between mind and body is improved which help them in every aspects of life. Many schools in developed nation are now giving importance to playing. Playing also help children to become more socially active as they make friend during games. For instance, a child who does not get chances to play during childhood might find hard to intract with others and fell behind. Playing is the most important part of childhood more than what other believe.

In conclusion, playing is very important for childern but schools are focused on formal learning because it is affordable and widely accepted by parents.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, agreeing that primary schools focus heavily on formal learning while also discussing the importance of play in child development. Your position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are somewhat under-developed or rely on broad generalisations, such as the claim about Asian parents having 'backward thinking'. While you provide relevant examples like graphic design and computer learning, the support could be extended further to fully meet the higher band descriptors. Nevertheless, all prompt requirements are addressed adequately, placing this response solidly within the Band 6 territory.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a recognisable overall progression and is divided into an introduction, body paragraphs addressing both parts of the prompt, and a brief conclusion. However, paragraphing and cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or faulty. For instance, transitional phrases between sentences can feel abrupt, and referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'most of its period' instead of 'most of its periods'. While paragraphs are present, the internal cohesion within them lacks smooth transitions and advanced logical linking, leading to a Band 6 score.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, featuring terms such as 'budget friendly', 'widely available', and 'socially active'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations that restrict the score, such as 'graphic designing' instead of 'graphic design', 'computering' instead of 'computing', and 'in Asian countries' where capitalization is missing. You also repeat common words like 'formal learning' and 'playing' frequently rather than using synonyms. These vocabulary limitations and word-choice errors indicate a clear Band 5 performance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. There are several noticeable grammatical errors, such as 'focus most of there course' (their), 'One of the most common way' (ways), 'they will not required' (require), and 'childern development' (children's). Additionally, articles are missing or incorrect in places, such as 'is not on books he not learning'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, their frequency across the text prevents the essay from reaching a Band 6, placing it firmly at Band 5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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