Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many believe that primary schools focus most of there course on formal learning. I agree that primary schools currently place too much emphasis on formal learning and while this may be pratical, I believe it can come at the cost of plat-based learning, which is equally important for a childs development.

One of the most common way to learn any skill ranging from graphic designing to basic computering is learned through formal learning. It is budget friendly and widely available so most of the schools prefer using formal learning. For instance, a newly opened school will most likely use formal learning on most of its period as students are more familiar with it and they will not required expensive resources to operate. Similarly, parents are also one of the main reason for formal learning to be on spotlight. As we all know most of the parents on Asian countries believe that formal learning is the only way to learn new skill they want certificate not the actual content in it. For example, in most of the asian countries parents have the thinking, where they think if their child is not on books he not learning which leads schools to adapt to it and make formal learning main focus.

Playing is the most important part of a childern development. It helps them grow in both mental as well as physical aspects. When children play their connection between mind and body is improved which help them in every aspects of life. Many schools in developed nation are now giving importance to playing. Playing also help children to become more socially active as they make friend during games. For instance, a child who does not get chances to play during childhood might find hard to intract with others and fell behind. Playing is the most important part of childhood more than what other believe.

In conclusion, playing is very important for children but schools are focused on formal learning because it is affordable and widely accepted by parents.Therefore, I believe that schools should focus on game-based learning to improve the overall system.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by discussing the extent of formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, agreeing that formal learning is overemphasized and that play is crucial for development. Ideas are supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of parental attitudes in Asian countries and the benefits of social interaction during games. However, some arguments, particularly regarding why schools choose formal learning, tend to generalise and are slightly under-developed. Overall, the task is well addressed, earning a solid Band 6.5.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to separate distinct ideas, such as the economic reasons for formal learning versus the developmental benefits of play. Cohesive devices are used adequately, including transition phrases like 'For instance', 'Similarly', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and transitions are at times mechanical, and some sentences lack smooth logical progression, such as the abrupt transition in the third paragraph. Overall, the organization is clear and logical, justifying a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'development', 'socially active', and 'game-based learning'. However, there are notable spelling errors ('pratical', 'plat-based', 'childs', 'computering', 'asian' instead of 'Asian', 'intract', 'fell' instead of 'fall') and some awkward word choices like 'thinking' instead of 'mindset' or 'belief'. While these lexical errors occur frequently, they do not impede communication because the writer's meaning remains clear, fitting the Band 6.0 profile.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and relative clauses ('Many believe that primary schools focus...', 'When children play their connection...'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('most of its period' instead of 'periods', 'childern' instead of 'children's'), missing articles ('is not on books he not learning', 'might find hard'), and possessive form errors ('childs development'). Despite these persistent errors, the meaning is rarely obscured, allowing the writing to achieve a Band 5.5.

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