Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people argue that early childhood educational institutions place excessive emphasis on structured academic learning. I believe that early schooling focuses on the desk-bound instruction. It is of paramount importance for children to engage in useful activities as this will help them to acquire practical skills.                        I strongly agree that elementary schooling over-prioritises structured learning. In formal learning students are just advised to be stationary and passive. For instance, children remain seated at individual desks or tables rather than moving around, doing hands-on experiments, or engaging in physical activities. Students are expected to sit quietly at individual desks to absorb abstract instructions. So, early childhood education relies too heavily on conventional, desk-bound instruction.                                                                I believe that it is necessary for students to be involved in constructive play alongside their studies as this is helpful for them to gain practical skills. Like many games help us to learn the qualities like leadership and  time management . An ability like stewardship is important for everyone in future as we really need to make decisions at some point in our lives.We also learn about time management . Because when we are involved in any activity, we are required to perform our task in given time .So, this workload prioritisation always binds us to do our tasks on time. This is precisely why incorporating co-curricular activities alongside academic study is essential for equipping children with essential practical skills.                                                            In conclusion,I firmly agree that primary education relies too heavily on rigid, formal instruction. Integrating play alongside academic learning is essential, as it provides young children with the practical skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt successfully. You clearly state your position that primary schools rely too heavily on formal instruction, and you discuss the importance of play in the classroom. In the body paragraphs, you provide relevant ideas regarding desk-bound learning and the benefits of co-curricular activities, such as leadership and time management. However, some of the supporting explanations are somewhat repetitive, particularly regarding time management. To reach a higher band, ideas could be developed with more varied and specific real-world examples rather than reiterating similar points. Overall, your position is clear and the task requirements are properly met.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing the prompt's two questions, and a brief conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'For instance', 'So', and 'In conclusion', though some transitions feel a bit mechanical. Referencing and paragraphing are generally appropriate, but the progression of ideas occasionally stalls due to repetitive phrasing within the third paragraph. Overall, the essay maintains a coherent overall arrangement that allows the reader to follow your argument without confusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'paramount importance', 'desk-bound instruction', and 'workload prioritisation'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'Like many games help us to learn the qualities like leadership' and the unusual use of 'stewardship' to mean leadership or responsibility. Spelling and word formation are generally fine, but lexical precision needs refinement to achieve a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You display a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like 'It is of paramount importance for children to engage in...' and 'Because when we are involved in any activity...'. There are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues, such as starting a sentence with 'Because when we are involved...' and unnecessary spacing issues before punctuation marks. However, these errors do not impede communication, and the majority of simple sentences are accurate.

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