Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal education. I largerly agree this view because academic learning is important, but children also need sufficient opportunities to play and develop other essential skill.

On the one hand, Formal learning is most important in primary school level because it provides children with fundamental knowledge and skills. Subjects such as mathematics, reading and science create a strong foundation for their future skill. For example, children who develop good reading and mathematics at an early stage acge are generally prepared for more advanced upcoming subjects later in life. Therefore, schools should certainly maintain a reasonable ammount of classroom on based learning.

On the secondhand, i believe that play is equally important for young children. Playing allows them relax and attract with nature. For instance, physical excersises plays a vital role in our life if they feel stress or any kind of depression, gymnastic activites helps them and create a positive bound in our mentality section. However, the group playing also represented a fair role in our life they play together like the way of cricket, football and manymore thats gave a strong bound our relationships.

Furthermore, spending too much time on formal study can make young chlidren lose interest in education. A balanced time table plays crucial role include both lessons and recreational activities can make school more enjoyable and engaging. For example, teacher can use educational games and outdoor activites comine together learning with play respectively. Moreover, these ability students make more happy and more intrest in studies.

In conclusion, although forml education is most important in primary schools, I believe that children should have plenty of opportunities to play as well. A balance approached will do positive effect on our children mental life, so teacher have to do plenty options for children like the way learning and some playing outdoor activities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The student takes a clear position by agreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and discusses the importance of play alongside learning. Ideas are generally extended and supported, such as mentioning the role of physical exercise and group sports in children's mental well-being and social bonding. However, some arguments lack deep elaboration and rely on slightly repetitive points, which aligns well with a Band 6.5 or Band 7 performance. Looking at the descriptors, the student addresses all parts with a clear position and supports ideas, fitting neatly into the Band 7 criteria.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a clear overall progression. The essay is divided into logical paragraphs, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs addressing each part of the prompt, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to signal shifts in argument, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the secondhand', and 'Furthermore'. However, there are minor cohesion and referencing errors, such as 'On the secondhand' instead of 'On the other hand', and slightly mechanical transitions. Paragraphing is used appropriately throughout, supporting a Band 6 score.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items like 'fundamental knowledge', 'recreational activities', and 'well-being' (implied). However, there are several lexical errors and awkward collocations throughout the text, such as 'I largerly agree this view', 'classroom on based learning', 'attract with nature', and 'mentality section'. Spelling errors like 'ammount', 'excersises', 'chlidren', and 'forml' also occur. These errors do not impede communication, but they restrict the score to a Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures like conditional and relative clauses ('children who develop good reading...'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors in verb forms, prepositions, and agreement, such as 'physical excersises plays', 'thats gave a strong bound', and 'A balance approached will do positive effect'. Punctuation and article usage are also occasionally faulty. While communication remains clear, the density of grammatical errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band, making Band 5.5 a fair reflection of the grammatical control shown.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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