Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the contemporary era, there are ongoing debates regarding the course development of children in early stages of the school. There is a group of people who support the argument that there should be a comprehensive curricular design that ensures the physical, ethical and individual development of children. I strongly agree with this opinion due to the fact that extreme concentration on formal courses of the school adds extra pressure to younger children. Consequently, it is crucial to encourage young children to participate in the games which will also develop their interest in the school environment.

First and foremost, children in the primary school are more energetic, enthusiastic, and attentive in sports activities than secondary school children. The participation in extracurricular activities enhances their motivation to stay focused in the school. For instance, the addition of a sports period during their daily school time encourages them to go to the school willingly and excitedly. This behavioural aspect also enables them to focus on the curricular activities taking place in the school.

Moreover, ethical upbringing is also becoming an influential factor as far as the curriculum design of primary school is concerned in the contemporary society. The children at primary level of the school are young with minor ages. The ethical upbringing at such a young age will develop their personality traits that can help them in becoming a better and resposible citizens of the society. For example, when a 5 year old student learns to greet people efficiently, he starts developing communication skills at a minor age and his communication skills start improving with his age development.

To sum up the essay, it has become significantly indispensable to enhance the curriculum design for primary school children. The schools need to prioritize physical and behavioural improvements among children of primary school. This aspect will assist in the physical, ethical and personality development of children along with getting formal education at the primary level of the school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: it clearly expresses agreement that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and it discusses the importance of play alongside formal education. The position is maintained throughout the essay. Ideas are generally well supported, such as when the writer explains how sports enhance motivation and how ethical upbringing shapes better citizens. However, some arguments lack deeper elaboration—for example, the point about greeting people is somewhat simplistic for an academic essay. Nevertheless, the writer covers all parts well, offering a clear stance and relevant examples that satisfy the requirements for a Band 7.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, beginning with an introduction, followed by body paragraphs addressing motivation and ethical upbringing, and concluding with a summary. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, such as 'First and foremost' and 'Moreover', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive in their phrasing. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct main ideas. Referencing is generally clear, contributing to an overall coherent structure that warrants a solid Band 6.5 to 7.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and academic phrases such as 'comprehensive curricular design', 'extracurricular activities', and 'ethical upbringing'. However, there are notable instances of awkward word choice and collocation, such as 'course development of children in early stages of the school' instead of 'early childhood education', and minor spelling/word-choice errors like 'resposible' and 'minor ages'. While communication is never impeded, these inaccuracies prevent the lexical score from reaching the higher bands, placing it firmly at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, demonstrating control over relative clauses and conditional-like constructions (e.g., 'when a 5 year old student learns to greet people efficiently, he starts developing...'). There are, however, several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing choices throughout the text, such as 'go to the school' (unnecessary article), 'with his age development' instead of 'as he grows older', and missing hyphens in compound modifiers like '5 year old'. Despite these errors, they rarely impede communication, allowing the essay to achieve a Band 6.0.

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