Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people argue that primary schools place excessive emphasis on formal education, such as reading, writing and mathematics. I largely agree with the statement, as young children also need opportunities to develop communication skill, team management and practical skills. In my opinion, playing is equally significant in the development of a child because it supports children overall development.

One reason i agree is that young children may find it difficult to focus on academic studies for long period of time. If schools focus mainly on textbooks, homework and examination, students may start feeling stressed ,bored and loss their interest in learning. Furthermore, primary education should not only prepare students academically but also help them develop communication, creativity and problem-solving skills. These abilities are essential for a overall development and future education.

Play is particularly important because it allows children to learn in a enjoyable and practical way. For example, teachers can introduce new ways of learning and make it fun for infants like introducing building blocks to learn mathematics concepts or organise group games to encourage teamwork. Through this activities, children can improve their memories and develop confidence without feeling stressed.

However, this does not entirely means that formal learning should be ignored. Reading, writing and mathematics provide foundation for further education. Therefore, a balanced approach should be considered while teaching primary children.

To conclude, primary schools should focus on making learning more enjoyable and stress free with introducing building blocks and physical games to encourage communication and teamwork. However, tradition learning also plays an important role in the foundation for future studies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The writer clearly states an agreement with the idea that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, while also discussing the importance of play in the classroom. Key ideas are presented and supported with examples, such as introducing building blocks to teach mathematical concepts. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed; for instance, the reference to communication skills and team management in the introduction is not fully explored later in the text. Despite this, the overall position is clear throughout, and the main arguments successfully cover both dimensions of the task. The response earns a band 6.5 for addressing the prompt adequately and maintaining a clear stance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving smoothly from the introduction to arguments supporting formal learning limits, the benefits of play, the necessity of a balanced approach, and a concluding summary. Cohesive devices are used throughout, such as 'One reason i agree', 'Furthermore', 'For example', and 'However'. However, some referencing and cohesive links are slightly mechanical or faulty, such as 'this does not entirely means' and the lowercase pronoun 'i' in the second paragraph. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, ensuring the structure remains clear to the reader, meriting a solid band 6.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'excessive emphasis', 'practical skills', and 'problem-solving skills'. However, there are several word-choice and collocation errors throughout the text, including 'communication skill' instead of skills, 'overall development' repeated without the correct plural forms or modifiers like 'an overall', 'loss their interest' instead of losing, and 'tradition learning' instead of traditional learning. Despite these inaccuracies, communication is never impeded, and the vocabulary remains minimally sufficient for band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at conditional structures and relative clauses, such as 'If schools focus mainly on textbooks, homework and examination, students may start feeling stressed...' and 'Play is particularly important because it allows children to learn...'. There are a number of grammatical errors and slips, including subject-verb agreement issues ('this does not entirely means'), missing articles ('provide foundation'), and punctuation errors like missing spaces after commas. While these errors occur with some frequency, they rarely impede communication, placing the response firmly at band 6.0.

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