Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people beleive that primary schools focus too much on formal learning . Whereas, other argue that it is for children to play as well as learning in primary school.In my perspective, learning only formal subjects provide employment opportunities . However, playing also be included in student's study so that they can feel more refresh and calm their mind.
In one side of argument, if pupils learn formal subjects such as math and biology.They can get jobs easily because they are very profession in their subjects. For instances, If students of computer sciences focus only on math , computer and statistics.They don't waste their time in learning other ordinary skills.Consequently, they have more chances of employments in IT and Software engineers companies.Furthermore, giving priority to only formal subjects display suplended outcome . They can aquire their degree with very effective score.
Despite the above arguments ,I am of the view of that enganging activities such as sports and play make student more active and refresh . They may be able to study more effectively and progressively. For instances, students of primary school tend to face sufficient study pressure.If outdoors play such as cricket and football can impart in their life. Therefore, they can become more attentive and can focus on their studies.Moreover, they can exhibit more productive outcome.
In conclusion, while both have their own place. Learning compulsory subject such as biology and math can improve the chances of jobs in the future. However, I beleive that play is also crucial due to the fact that it expand mind activeness.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by discussing both the extent of formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play. The position is clear throughout, as seen when the writer states, 'In my perspective, learning only formal subjects provide employment opportunities. However, playing also be included'. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For example, the arguments regarding job opportunities and computer science are slightly misplaced in the context of primary school education, since primary education is foundational rather than vocational. While the ideas are relevant, they tend to over-generalise and lack fully convincing real-world support suitable for primary school contexts, placing this response securely at Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt at a four-paragraph structure comprising an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. There are noticeable issues with punctuation and sentence boundary errors, such as 'learning .Whereas, other argue' and 'math and biology.They can get jobs'. Cohesive devices are sometimes used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'In one side of argument', which should be 'On the one hand'. Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression within paragraphs is occasionally disrupted by abrupt transitions and repetitive phrasing. These issues prevent the response from achieving a Band 6.5, making Band 5.5 a fair reflection of the cohesive control demonstrated.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting less common items such as 'employment opportunities', 'progressive', and 'crucial'. However, there are frequent word-choice and spelling errors throughout the text, including 'beleive' instead of believe, 'suplended' instead of splendid, 'aquire' instead of acquire, 'enganging' instead of engaging, and 'refresh' used as an adjective instead of refreshed. Additionally, collocation is sometimes unnatural, such as 'exhibit more productive outcome'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, their frequency prevents the response from reaching Band 6.0, aligning it more closely with the Band 5.0 descriptors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating conditional structures and relative clauses. However, grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the essay. There are frequent errors in verb forms, subject-verb agreement, and articles, such as 'learning only formal subjects provide', 'playing also be included', and 'If outdoors play such as cricket and football can impart in their life'. Punctuation is also problematic, with multiple run-on sentences and missing spaces after periods, for instance, 'biology.They can get jobs'. Because errors are frequent and occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader, particularly when complex structures are attempted, the grammar score is Band 5.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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