Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Throughtout the globe, education and games plays a curical roles in children life. Some individuals believe that primary schools give more focus on structured learning as compare with playing games. however, I agree with this statement and I will disscuss my points in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, in these days every parents wants that their childern are become successful person in their life so that they can spend their life happily due to this, grammar school give more focus on formal education which is stress buster for kids. To explain further, childern spent 8 hours at their school at that time they study different type of subjects such as, hindi, english, Sicence and othres when they study all time they feel stressed because teachers tells all the time they should become doctor, police and so on in their life. As a result, sometimes students are not good in study due to this the do not achieve good grades in their exams so then they take stress and also they have fear of their parents and teachers. Sometimes it put bad impact on their mental health. For example, it was a survey done by a company 60% students did sucide and face depression due to this.

Furthermore, schools should not olny give focus on education they should also include some fun activities for kids like outdoor games, dancing, music and many other. To elaborate it, after doing study when they do these kind of activities so they can show more intrest in their study. Consequently, with the help of these fun activity they will more excited to join clasess in their daily basis and some kids are good in games so that they can achieve their goals in their life.

To sum up, althought education is essential for learners but school should include some stress relief activities for children so they can take a small break.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by acknowledging the focus on formal learning and discussing the importance of play. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial and hindered by confusing phrasing. For instance, the student states they agree with the opinion, yet later suggests that formal education acts as a 'stress buster,' which contradicts the premise that schools focus 'too much' on formal learning. Furthermore, the example provided involving a severe statistic lacks appropriate context and logical support. While a position is presented, the arguments lack depth and coherent extension. Consequently, this performance aligns most closely with the Band 5 descriptors, where the task is addressed only partially and ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The text is organised into paragraphs, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion, showing some basic structure. However, overall progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and confusing logical links, such as 'due to this, grammar school give more focus...' Mechanical cohesive devices are used, but referencing is often unclear. For example, pronouns like 'they' and 'it' frequently lack clear antecedents, making it difficult to follow the thread of argument, particularly in the long second paragraph. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak. These features place the response firmly in the Band 5 category, characterised by some overall organisation but inadequate and inaccurate use of cohesive devices, leading to a lack of clear progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently impeded by significant spelling and word-choice errors. The student attempts to use less common items such as 'curical', 'stress buster', and 'sucide', but these contain severe spelling errors and occasional misuse ('grammar school' instead of 'primary school'). Words are frequently misspelled ('Throughtout', 'childern', 'intrest', 'althought'), and collocations are unnatural ('give more focus', 'take a small break'). The lexical range is limited and minimally adequate for the task, with noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. This directly reflects the Band 5 descriptors, where vocabulary is restricted and persistent errors in spelling and word formation strain comprehension.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but these are heavily flawed by frequent grammatical errors. Run-on sentences and punctuation issues are pervasive throughout the essay, such as in the opening sentence: 'Throughtout the globe, education and games plays a curical roles in children life.' Subject-verb agreement errors ('games plays', 'childern are become', 'teachers tells') and tense inconsistencies occur in almost every sentence. Attempts at complex clauses result in faulty structures and distorted meanings, causing considerable difficulty for the reader. Because frequent errors persist and simple structures dominate accurate execution, the response meets the criteria for Band 4 rather than Band 5, as errors frequently distort meaning and grammatical control is very weak.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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