Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many individuals believe that primary education places excess emphasis on formal schooling. I strongly agree with this because the schools might want to instill good behaviour in the kids but might end up stunting their development. I am also of the opinion that playing, alongside learning, is extremely important for youngsters as it helps them see education in a positive light.

Education providers at the primary level focus too much on formal education because they want to make them exceptional members of society but this can be detrimental to their functioning as they might not develop emotional intelligence properly. Kids at this level are still at the foundational phase of their life and if they only have formal education, they could grow up to be adults who do not know how to interact properly with other adults in society. For example, my cousin went to a strict boarding primary school that gave no time for play or social interactions. She grew up to become secluded and socially awkward.

Primary school children should be taught formally in school but time for play should also be allocated to enable them view schooling as a fun experience. As the saying goes, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy", youngsters should be allowed to frolic while still learning so they associate learning with excitement. This is great for their development. For example, As a child, I attended a primary school that allowed 1 hour play time daily. Sometimes I played with toy planets and I believe that is the foundation of my love for astronomy.

In conclusion, I agree that primary schools unnecessarily fixate on just formal learning because they want to produce good pupils but it could be bad for their social development. It is therefore essential to combine playtime and learning to make sure they find education interesting.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt successfully. You clearly state your position on the extent of formal learning in primary schools and explore why playing is important for children. Your ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as your cousin's boarding school experience and your own childhood memories involving toy planets. The position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some arguments regarding emotional intelligence and societal functioning tend to over-generalize slightly, which keeps the response at a Band 7.0 level rather than higher, as the development of ideas could be slightly more nuanced.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your essay demonstrates a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus: introduction, the drawbacks of excessive formal learning, the benefits of playtime, and the conclusion. You use cohesive devices adequately, such as 'For example', 'As the saying goes', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and paragraph transitions are occasionally a bit mechanical ('Education providers at the primary level...', 'Primary school children should be taught...'), preventing it from reaching the higher bands. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct points, and the overall progression of your ideas is easy to follow from start to finish.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You display a sufficient range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. Phrases like 'excess emphasis', 'stunting their development', 'emotional intelligence', and 'foundational phase' show an ability to use less common items with appropriate awareness of style and collocation. There are some minor limitations and repetitive word choices, such as frequently using 'formal education' and 'formal learning', and a slight slip in phrasing ('enable them view' instead of 'enable them to view'). Nonetheless, the vocabulary is adequate for the task and allows you to convey your message clearly without communication being impeded at any point.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You utilise a mix of simple and complex sentence forms effectively, demonstrating control over relative clauses and conditional structures. Examples such as 'Kids at this level are still at the foundational phase of their life and if they only have formal education, they could grow up to be adults...' show a good range of grammatical structures. There are some minor errors and awkward phrasings, such as the missing preposition in 'allowed 1 hour play time' and the comma splice in 'For example, As a child...'. However, the majority of your sentences are clear, and these minor mechanical errors do not impede communication, placing your grammar solidly in the Band 7 range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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