Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some people argued that the primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I totally agree with this opinion.

Firstly, the children pay more attention to formal studies, which may cause stress and pressure and may also affect other activities like outdoor games and sports related to playing with others. However, formal learning is usually focused on the secondary schools, but nowadays these learning systems must be applied to primary schools, which may cause serious issues on development of children. For instance, when teachers teach math, science, and history subjects in the classroom, children cannot fully pay attention because they can't understand, and mentally, week by week, putting such a huge pressure on them.

Secondly, play is essential in the primary schools; it develops strong bonding between children with others and also helps children develop creativity and fun activities. Furthermore, playing outdoor games can also help to reduce imaginary skills and also communication much better. While learning and playing a vital role in both, they are very important activities. If children can do well in a game, then teachers also help to learn in studies with the help of playing activities. For example, teachers can arrange block activities to count each block and match the same colors. Children can adapt these skills and perform this activity; it helps to enhance the knowledge, as well as allow children to play.

In conclusion, play and learning are important for children but if formal language focus too much on children, then they are curious and unhealthy because it can demage motar skill.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing clear agreement that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and discussing the importance of play. The student takes a clear position from the beginning and attempts to support it with ideas such as stress, pressure, and the development of creativity and social bonds. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the discussion on how formal learning causes stress lacks detailed elaboration, and the examples provided, such as block activities, are simplistic. While all parts of the prompt are addressed, the ideas do not reach the depth required for higher bands, placing the response solidly in the band 5 range due to under-developed and occasionally confusing points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Transitional markers such as "Firstly", "Secondly", and "In conclusion" are used to signal the structure. However, paragraphing and logical progression are often faulty. The second body paragraph attempts to cover too many disparate ideas, transitioning awkwardly from social bonding and creativity to the role of teachers using play to aid learning, and then abruptly introducing block activities. Furthermore, referencing is sometimes unclear, as seen in the phrase "While learning and playing a vital role in both", which lacks clear semantic cohesion. Cohesive devices are mechanical and sometimes inadequate, justifying a band 5 score.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate basic arguments regarding education and play. However, the range is limited and repetitive, with frequent word-choice and collocation errors. Examples include "formal language focus too much" instead of formal learning, "demage motar skill" (damage motor skills), and "mental, week by week, putting such a huge pressure". There are also spelling errors such as "week" for weak and "demage" for damage. Less common vocabulary is attempted but frequently inaccurate, causing occasional strain for the reader. This performance aligns with the descriptors for band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, though attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty and lead to grammatical errors. Examples of awkward and inaccurate structures include "Some people argued that the primary schools focus..." (tense inconsistency) and "When teachers teach math, science, and history subjects in the classroom, children cannot fully pay attention because they can't understand, and mentally, week by week, putting such a huge pressure on them" (run-on sentence with a dangling modifier). Errors in grammar, punctuation, and article usage are frequent throughout the text and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar score at band 5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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