Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that the primary school focuses too much on formal learning. I totally agree with this opinion.

Firstly, the children pay more attention to formal studies, which may cause stress and pressure and may also affect other activities like outdoor games and sports related to playing with others. However, formal learning is usually focused on the secondary schools, but nowadays these learning systems must be applied to primary schools, which may cause serious issues in the development of children. For instance, when teachers teach math, science, and history subjects in the classroom, children cannot fully pay attention because they can't understand, and mentally, week by week, putting such a huge pressure on them.

Secondly, play is essential in the primary schools; it develops strong bonding between children with others and also helps children develop creativity and fun activities. Furthermore, playing outdoor games can also help to enhance imaginary skills and also communication much better. While learning and playing a vital role in both, they are very important activities. If children can do well in a game, then teachers also help to learn in studies with the help of playing activities. For example, teachers can arrange block activities to count each block and match the same colors. Children can adapt these skills and perform this activity; it helps to enhance the knowledge, as well as allow children to play. In conclusion, play and learning are important for children, but if formal learning focuses too much on children, it can be unhealthy because it can damage motor skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the importance of play in the classroom. The writer clearly states an opinion ("I totally agree with this opinion") and supports it with explanations and examples, such as the use of block activities to teach counting and colors. However, the development of ideas tends to be repetitive and somewhat generalized, particularly in the discussion of stress and motor skills. The response meets the core requirements of the task, but the ideas lack full extension and deeper elaboration, which places it firmly at a Band 6.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay is organized into distinct paragraphs, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion, providing an overall coherent structure. Cohesive devices are used, such as "Firstly," "Secondly," and "For instance," though some transitions feel a bit mechanical or forced. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as seen in the sentence "While learning and playing a vital role in both...", where the intended meaning and logical link to the surrounding sentences are muddled. Paragraphing is present and generally appropriate, but the logical progression within paragraphs could be smoother and better managed to achieve a higher band score.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, with relevant terms such as "formal learning," "creativity," "motor skills," and "imaginary skills" (though the latter is likely a misuse of imaginative skills). There are some noticeable lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as writing "mentally, week by week, putting such a huge pressure on them" and "week" instead of weak in "mentally, week [weak] by week." While less common vocabulary is attempted, inaccuracies in collocation and word choice occasionally impede smooth reading, resulting in a Band 5.5 performance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward syntactical structures that cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include "the primary school focuses" (unnecessary article), "children cannot fully pay attention because they can't understand, and mentally, week by week, putting such a huge pressure on them" (fragmented and ungrammatical clause), and "teachers also help to learn in studies with the help of playing activities." Punctuation and clause structures are often faulty when attempting longer, more complex sentences, reflecting the characteristics of Band 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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