Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some people argue that primary school focuses too much on formal learning. I totally agree with this opinion.

Firstly, children pay more attention to formal studies, which may cause stress and pressure and may also affect other activities like outdoor games and sports related to playing with others. However, formal learning is usually focused in the secondary schools, but nowadays these learning systems must be applied to primary schools, which may cause serious issues in the development of children. For instance, when teachers teach math, science, and history subjects in the classroom, children cannot fully pay attention because they can't understand, and mentally, week by week, putting such a huge pressure on them.

Secondly, play is essential in primary schools; it develops strong bonding between children and others and also helps children develop creativity and fun activities. Furthermore, playing outdoor games can also help to enhance thinking skills and also communication much better. While learning and play a vital role in both, they are very important activities. If children can do well in a game, then teachers also help to learn in studies with the help of playing activities. For example, teachers can arrange block activities to count each block and match the same colors. Children can adapt these skills and perform this activity; it helps to enhance the knowledge, as well as allow children to play. In conclusion, play and learning are important for children, but if formal learning focuses too much on children, it can be unhealthy because it can damage motor skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the importance of play alongside learning. The writer takes a clear position ('I totally agree with this opinion') and attempts to develop ideas relating to student stress and the developmental benefits of play. However, the ideas are often underdeveloped and lack precise extension. For instance, the point about formal learning systems being applied inappropriately in primary schools is stated rather than fully explained, and the example regarding math and science is somewhat convoluted. While all parts of the prompt receive attention, the reasoning remains limited in depth, leading to a Band 6 score under official descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion, showing a basic overall arrangement. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' are used to signal the structure of the argument. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, the sentence 'While learning and play a vital role in both, they are very important activities' lacks logical clarity and smooth connection to the surrounding text. Paragraphing is present, but the internal progression within the body paragraphs is occasionally disjointed, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band level.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, successfully using terms such as 'development', 'creativity', 'communication', and 'motor skills'. There are, however, noticeable lexical inaccuracies and awkward word choices, such as 'mentally, week by week, putting such a huge pressure on them' and 'strong bonding between children and others' instead of 'bonds between children'. The phrase 'play a vital role' is used accurately, but attempts at less common vocabulary occasionally result in unnatural collocations. Spelling is generally accurate, but the overall lexical control sits firmly at Band 5.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting structures such as conditional clauses ('If children can do well in a game...') and subordinate clauses. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are several noticeable errors, including missing prepositions, verb tense confusion ('While learning and play a vital role'), and fragmented expression ('mentally, week by week, putting such a huge pressure on them'). Punctuation is basic, and some lengthy sentences become tangled, causing minor difficulty for the reader. These frequent errors in complex structures place the grammar score at Band 5.0.

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