Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some individuals argue about primiary schools that they are very strict on formal learning, I completely disagree with this statement, as it put more pressure in primary school students im their studies as well as their mental health affect.

From my perspective primary school should not focus just in formal learning because it burdanise the students in terms of study subjects without any activity and also huge courses they have to focus on, for instance, primary schools continue with formal leaning leads to mental health issues with students and they also they will take a lot stress due to their studies, to handle this situation primary schools make possible arrangements of activities like cricket tournament once a week for students, so they can easily manage things with relax mind, because body needs entertainment for healthy mind.

On the other hand, it is very important for childrens to play as well as learn in classroom because playing with learning is just for their good mental health, but learning should be their primary goal to achieve, for instance, childrens learning eight hours in primary schools in a day, and after that they come back their homes and sleep for sometime, then they out for play, they should complete the day with this routine, it will not interupt their learning as well as they will fresh in terms of learning, so the play is not just important, its just be the part of learning.

In conclusion, primary schools not just too much focus on formal learning it will affect the mental health of students, on the other hand, it is also important for childrens and their health to play along with learning in the classroom of primary schools.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The student addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and explaining the importance of play alongside learning. However, the position is somewhat contradictory at the start, as the student states, 'I completely disagree with this statement, as it put more pressure in primary school students,' which seems to agree with the premise that pressure is an issue. Ideas are presented, such as mental health and physical activities like cricket, but they are repetitive and lack deep, coherent extension. Examples are generalised rather than specific, leading to an under-development of arguments. Consequently, the response aligns best with Band 5.0 descriptors, where the task is addressed, but ideas are limited and the position is not consistently clear throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, which represents an attempt at structure. However, progression is hindered by poor logical flow and run-on sentences. For instance, the second paragraph consists of a single excessively long, convoluted sentence connected loosely by commas and conjunctions ('...because burdanise the students... for instance, primary schools continue with formal leaning leads to...'). Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or misused, such as the abrupt transitions ('On the other hand,' 'In conclusion'). Referencing is also confusing at times, making it difficult to follow the line of argument. This level of organisation and mechanical cohesion firmly places the response at Band 5.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical range is limited and repetitive, with noticeable errors in word choice and spelling that occasionally cause strain for the reader. Examples of spelling and morphological errors include 'primiary' for primary, 'burdanise' for overburden, 'interupt' for interrupt, and 'fresh' used as an adjective complement where a noun or adverbial phrase might be expected ('they will fresh'). While the student attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'mental health issues' and 'entertainment', their control is weak, and vocabulary is often basic or strained. These limitations reflect the Band 5.0 descriptor profile, where the vocabulary is minimally adequate for the task but marked by noticeable errors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response features a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple or poorly constructed compound-complex sentences that contain frequent errors. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement and clause structure, such as 'it put more pressure in primary school students im their studies as well as their mental health affect' and 'childrens learning eight hours in primary schools in a day'. Punctuation is largely neglected, resulting in comma splices and long run-on sentences that impede smooth reading. Because complex sentences are attempted but are frequently faulty, and errors are frequent throughout the text, the performance corresponds to Band 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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