Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In the modern world, schools are focusuing on formal learning and they completely forget to encourage students to participate in other activities. However, some people argue that primary schools focus on formal learning only, I believe that schools should add other activities in school curriculam. In this essay I will present both positive and negative of this phenomenon and add my opinion in the end.
On the one hand, there is no denying that schools are focusing on formal learning. In order to stay in the race it is nessasory for childern to focus on learning, as education is the key to success. If they will get high quality education in primary classes, then the chaces of getting a good, high paying job increase. Apart from it, school are meant to focus on studies, if tehy add more relaxing activities in school premisis then it can have a detriminal effect on childen's overall grades.
On the other hand, focusing too much on formal learning can affect students mental health as they will not get time to relax, thus it will put burden on student's mind and he might face depression. Secondly, not every student is clever in studies, some are good in sports and if schools tend to involve playing in school premisis then one can find their hidden talent in any of the sports. Not only this, some reports have shown that schools which give extra time to students for ectra curricular activities , they are able to fetch good grades as compared to those who only focus on formal learning.
In conclusion, I believe that schools are doing its job to provide best quality education. But, at a point they lack behind in providing time to children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. So, I suggest schools to encourage learners to participate in sports.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The candidate addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the focus on formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play alongside learning. A clear position is established in the introduction ('I believe that schools should add other activities in school curriculam') and maintained throughout. However, the development of ideas tends to be slightly superficial and repetitive at times. For instance, the discussion on mental health and sports in the third paragraph is somewhat generalised ('one can find their hidden talent in any of the sports'). While the response covers the task requirements adequately, the supporting arguments would benefit from greater depth and specific examples to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response features a clear overall arrangement with appropriate paragraphing, dividing the introduction, two body paragraphs representing different perspectives, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally faulty or mechanical. For example, the phrase 'thus it will put burden on student's mind and he might face depression' has awkward pronoun referencing ('he' referring back to 'student's mind' or a singular generic student, which causes a minor fracture in flow). Logical progression is generally maintained, but some transitions feel abrupt.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The candidate demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'curriculam' (misspelled), 'detrimental effect', and 'extra curricular activities'. However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, including 'focusuing', 'nessasory', 'childern', 'chaces', 'tehy', 'premisis', and 'lack behind'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, their frequency prevents the score from rising into the higher bands. The use of phrases like 'stay in the race' is colloquial but understandable.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The response displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating conditional structures ('If they will get high quality education...') and relative clauses. However, control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as tense and agreement issues ('schools are focusuing', 'schools are doing its job'), article omissions, and spelling mistakes affecting word forms. The conditional structure 'If they will get...' contains a common error where the future tense is incorrectly used in the 'if' clause instead of the present simple. These errors occur regularly, though they rarely impede overall communication.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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