Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that primary schools are too focused in students’ formal learning rather than balancing studies and games or any other extracurricular activities.

The early age of a child shapes plays a primary role in shaping their personality and the direction of their cognitive growth as I firmly believe studies and extracurricular activities like playing interactive games, sports and recreational activities such as painting, crafts, or fun games that are enjoyed by children of age 8-12 should be considered.

It is really important to ensure that the student is mentally healthy and making steadfast progress in cognitive functions like decision making, problem solving, creative thinking, communication and observational analysis. According to a research, schools who have focused on extracurricular activities, games and sports while equally balancing academics have reported that those particular students have shown incremental improvement in their performance, task completion, memorisation, physical activeness and active participation .

Subjects like maths, science, history or computer science are really important for the student to gain knowledge of the information of various researches and findings but solely focusing on academic subjects and studying them for long hours everyday gets stressful for students as it feels monotonous and boring to them and more like a burden. As children mostly forget the long hours of study and only remember relevant information so at this age teachers should focus on improving their cognitive abilities that sharpen their core skills while improving their mental health.

Interactive classrooms can create a healthy environment for learners who can improve their studying abilities as well as enjoy, that creates a healthier environment for young individuals at school.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and the importance of play alongside learning. The writer takes a clear position agreeing that there is an over-focus on formal learning and argues strongly for the integration of games and extracurricular activities. Ideas are generally relevant, such as mentioning cognitive development, decision-making, and stress reduction. However, some arguments lack deep extension or specific examples from personal experience, leaning slightly into general assertions rather than fully developed elaboration. For instance, the reference to research lacks specific context. This places the performance comfortably at Band 6.5, as it addresses all parts of the task with relevant ideas, though some areas remain under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear stance established early on. Ideas are generally grouped logically into paragraphs that move from general introduction to cognitive benefits, subject comparison, and classroom environments. However, paragraphing and logical progression show some flaws. For example, the second paragraph is a massive, single-sentence run-on that attempts to combine too many ideas: 'The early age of a child shapes plays a primary role... should be considered.' Cohesive devices are sometimes basic or mechanically deployed, and referencing can become slightly unclear due to dense, multi-clause sentences. Paragraphing could be used more purposefully to separate distinct sub-arguments. Overall, this aligns with the Band 6 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'cognitive growth', 'observational analysis', 'incremental improvement', and 'monotonous'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation inaccuracies. For example, the phrase 'shapes plays a primary role' contains a grammatical mash-up of verbs, and 'students who have focused on' incorrectly attributes the focus to the students rather than the schools. Additionally, spelling and word formation errors appear, such as 'activeness' instead of 'activity'. While communication is not impeded, these lexical inaccuracies prevent the essay from reaching a higher band, making Band 6 an accurate reflection of the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over multi-clause structures. However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. The text suffers from long, convoluted sentences that lack proper punctuation boundaries, such as the second paragraph's excessively long single sentence which causes structural confusion. There are also agreement and verb form errors, such as 'schools who have focused' (where 'which' or 'that' would be more appropriate for institutions) and 'focus too much in students' formal learning' (preposition error: 'on'). While there are error-free sentences present, the frequency of structural and mechanical errors means the response fits the Band 6 descriptor well.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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