Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people argue that primary school focuses too much on formal learning. I totally agree with this opinion.

Firstly, children pay more attention to formal studies, which may cause stress and pressure and may also affect other activities like outdoor games and sports related to playing with others. However, formal learning is usually focused on in secondary schools, but nowadays, these learning systems must be applied to primary schools, which may cause serious issues in the development of children. For instance, when teachers teach math, science, and history subjects in the classroom, children cannot fully pay attention because they can't understand, and mentally, week by week, putting such a huge pressure on them.

Secondly, play is essential in primary schools; it develops strong bonding between children and others and also helps children develop creativity and fun activities. Furthermore, playing outdoor games can also help to enhance thinking skills and communication much better. While learning and play play a vital role in both, they are very important activities. If children can do well in a game, then teachers also help them to learn in studies with the help of playing activities. For example, teachers can arrange block activities to count each block and match the same colours. Children can adapt these skills and perform this activity; it helps to enhance their knowledge, as well as allowing children to play.

In conclusion, play and learning are important for children, but if formal learning focuses too much on children, it can be unhealthy because it can damage motor skills.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, agreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and discussing the importance of play alongside learning. A clear position is established in the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the discussion of pressure in the first body paragraph and the benefits of play in the second body paragraph lack deep elaboration and rely on general statements rather than fully extended arguments. While examples are provided, such as block activities, the connection to the prompt's broader themes is occasionally underdeveloped. This performance aligns best with the Band 6 descriptor.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay is divided into clear paragraphs with a visible introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an overall logical arrangement. Cohesive devices are used to signal progression, such as 'Firstly,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion.' However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, the sentence 'While learning and play play a vital role in both, they are very important activities' lacks logical clarity and precise referencing. Additionally, paragraph internal flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward transitions and run-on structures. These issues place the response firmly in the Band 6 category.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'formal learning,' 'development,' 'creativity,' and 'motor skills.' There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, but these are sometimes accompanied by inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'mentally, week by week, putting such a huge pressure' and 'strong bonding.' Spelling is generally accurate, but lexical control is inconsistent. Because the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the main message despite occasional strain, a Band 6 is appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some variety in structure. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that occasionally impede fluency and communication. Examples include 'children pay more attention to formal studies, which may cause stress and pressure and may also affect other activities' (run-on tendency), 'if formal learning focuses too much on children' (awkward prepositional usage), and 'can't understand, and mentally, week by week, putting such a huge pressure on them' (fragmented syntax). Because errors are noticeable and occur regularly within complex constructions, the writing fits the Band 5 descriptor.

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