Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Although formal learning in primary schools is essential for children, there are other aspects that need to be focused on as well.

Admittedly, formal academic learning is necessary for a child to successfully advance to the next grade. The academic foundation needs to be strong enough for the child to have clear concepts relevant to their grade in order to be eligible to pass tests and exams.

However, formal learning should not be the sole purpose of primary schools. Play-time is equally important for the growth of a child for several reasons. First and foremost, playing with other children their age, they practically learn different concepts and skills in life which are appropriate to their age. For example, a student when plays with their classmates, they learn how to share the crayons their mother bought for them, which in future will turn into healthy personality traits like generosity. Playing with their mates also enhances their social skills. Students not only interact freely with their fellows during play-time, but also learn social concepts like trust, friendship, and helpfulness. Moreover, play-time in school boosts relaxation in young students. Relaxation is mainly essential for them to build a positive association. Having fun in school will directly result in them liking the space and wanting to come back the next day. In addition to that, play-time including physical activity is psychologically proven to refresh the brain resulting in better grades and task fulfilment throughout the year.

In conclusion, academic learning is indeed a very important part of a child's growth but so is playing. Both together can give better outcomes than just one alone.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses both parts of the two-part prompt: the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play in the classroom. You establish a clear position that while formal learning is necessary, play is equally crucial for holistic child development. Your ideas are relevant and supported by specific explanations, such as the example of sharing crayons and building social skills like trust and friendship. However, some arguments could be extended further or supported with broader external examples rather than overly simple scenarios. Nevertheless, you have covered all parts of the task well, meeting the criteria for a solid Band 7.0 performance in this category.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

Your essay demonstrates a clear overall progression. The introduction sets out the topic, the second paragraph acknowledges the counter-argument, the third paragraph thoroughly discusses the importance of play, and the final paragraph provides a concise conclusion. You make use of logical connectors such as 'Admittedly', 'However', 'First and foremost', 'Moreover', and 'In addition to that' to structure your ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct thoughts. While cohesion is generally clear and effective, a few transitional links feel slightly mechanical rather than entirely natural. Overall, the logical organization meets the requirements for a comfortable Band 7.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use an adequate and mostly natural range of vocabulary to discuss education and child development, including terms such as 'formal academic learning', 'personality traits', 'social skills', and 'task fulfilment'. There are some successful less common items and collocations. However, there are occasional minor inaccuracies in word choice or phrasing, such as 'student when plays with their classmates' where the grammatical phrasing is a bit awkward, and 'boosts relaxation in young students' which is slightly unnatural in collocation. Despite these occasional limitations, the vocabulary is sufficient for precision and flexibility, earning a Band 6.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You demonstrate a reasonable mix of simple and complex sentence structures, using subordinate clauses effectively in sentences such as 'Although formal learning in primary schools is essential for children, there are other aspects that need to be focused on as well.' There are several error-free sentences, and your punctuation and overall sentence control are generally good. However, some minor grammatical slips occur, such as the dangling or awkward construction 'a student when plays with their classmates, they learn...', which shows slight confusion in subject-verb tracking within complex structures. Because there is a mix of error-free sentences alongside occasional minor slips, this sits comfortably at a Band 6.5.

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