Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
it is often a rgues that primary school while some people belive that focus too much on formal learning. The eassy will discuse the issue and explain why i agree with this view. i agree whit this view because childern need engough time to play and develop the othe important skills.
one the first hand, one of the main big peroblem is that to much foramal learning can put pressure on young children. some people may become tired if they have spend most of the time in school and studying. Mostly they spend time in study they do no have time to come out to meet other people, due to lose them confidance they feel hesitate. therefore they do not how can learn teamwork, and other reason they have no self confidance while they do not face socity. For example, who have many time in lessones and homework may have less time to relax and enoy thier childhood. As a result, they may have lose interest in learning.
on the other hand, another important point playing hepls the childern to develop the important skills.throught games an important role of childern childern can learn how to comunicate, and team works. for example, team work can teach how to help the othe people as comunicate. therefor school should be provide blance between study and play.
in conclusion, i agree that primary school focus to much on formal learing, childern they have no engough time can learn develop thier skill. with the study, young childern must have play becuse playing is beneficil for healt.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt, expressing a clear position that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and that play is crucial for children. However, the development of ideas is limited and sometimes repetitive, which aligns with Band 5. For instance, the discussion on social skills and confidence in the second paragraph repeats the idea that children lose confidence and struggle to meet people without proper development. While the prompt asks for reasons and examples, the examples provided lack specific detail, often generalizing rather than illustrating effectively (e.g., 'who have many time in lessones'). The response reaches the minimum length requirement, but the arguments remain underdeveloped, preventing it from reaching Band 6.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay is organised into distinct paragraphs, attempting an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the overall progression is disrupted by mechanical and faulty cohesive devices. For example, expressions like 'one the first hand' and 'on the other hand' are misused or poorly phrased. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is weak due to a lack of clear referencing and abrupt transitions between ideas. Sentences often run together without logical links, such as moving from study pressure directly to a lack of social confidence without adequate bridging. These issues reflect Band 4 characteristics, as information and ideas are not always arranged coherently.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, severely restricting the flow of the essay. Words such as 'formal learning', 'study', 'play', and 'skills' are repeated frequently without varied synonyms. There are also numerous spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'argues' instead of 'argued', 'belive', 'eassy', 'discuse', 'whit', 'childern', 'engough', 'ohet', 'foramal', 'hepls', 'throught', 'comunicate', 'blance', 'learing', and 'beneficil'. These errors and the limited lexical range mean the student can only convey basic meanings, fitting the Band 4 descriptor where basic vocabulary and frequent errors strain the reader.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex structures that are heavily flawed. Frequent errors in punctuation, capitalization, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure make much of the text difficult to parse. Examples include 'it is often a rgues that primary school while some people belive that focus too much on formal learning' and 'due to lose them confidance they feel hesitate. therefore they do not how can learn teamwork'. Basic errors occur in almost every sentence, meaning there are very few error-free clauses. This performance firmly sits at Band 4, where errors are frequent and often distort the intended meaning.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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