Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued by some people that primary schools focous too much on the formal education. Although some might disagree with the statement. I completely agree with the point childern should be allowed to play along with studies. Multiple physical games have many different benefits, it promote healthy lifestyle and some students might became athelete in future. Not only this but this also contribute to built confidence in them.

There are many health benefits associated with physical games. Firstly, if childern are not promoted to play game in their primary schools they would never be able to feel the leaisure of physical games and it affects their health as well. For instance, a recent report of a survey held in China demonstrate that 78% of the childern whom often participate in different physical games remains healthy in their further life. Hence, different sort of games have a huge positive impact on health.

Secondly, some students have a really good caliber towards the sports which often develop in them during their school times. If they are not allowed to play, their ability might never be polished well. Take an example of Japan, which is doing really well in the sports. Their 90% of professional atheletes started training from their primary school time. Therefore, it is really important to promote childern play during their school time.

Lastly, it also help childern to built confidence. When they play different sports they starts to intract with others and feel comfortable. So, it's very important to allow them to play.

In my opinion there are some drawsbacks, but the advantages it held in terms of health benefits and having a future in sports, not only that but also built confidence in them out weights the disagvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The student addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and explaining why play is important. A clear position is established in the introduction ('I completely agree with the point childern should be allowed to play along with studies') and maintained throughout the essay. The ideas are extended and supported with examples, such as referencing a survey in China and the sports training model in Japan. However, some arguments remain somewhat generalised and brief. For instance, the discussion on building confidence lacks deeper elaboration. Despite these minor limitations in development, the task is successfully and thoroughly addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a clear logical organisation with an introduction, distinct body paragraphs addressing separate points, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Lastly', and 'In my opinion' are used to structure the text, though they are occasionally mechanical or slightly repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as health benefits versus athletic development. Referencing is generally clear, although the transition between sentences can occasionally feel abrupt due to minor grammatical or linking slips. Overall, the essay maintains a coherent arrangement that allows the reader to follow the progression of ideas easily.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common lexical items such as 'leisure', 'professional athletes', and 'drawbacks'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'focous', 'childern', 'athelete', 'leaisure', 'demonstrate' (instead of demonstrated), 'intract' (interact), and 'out weights' (outweighs). While these lexical errors occur frequently, they do not impede overall communication, as the writer's intended meaning remains clear. A greater control over word formation and spelling would be required to reach a higher band level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional structures ('If they are not allowed to play, their ability might never be polished well') and relative clauses. However, there are frequent grammatical errors in tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions, such as '78% of the childern whom often participate... remains healthy' and 'contribute to built confidence'. Punctuation is also occasionally problematic, particularly in the final paragraph run-on sentence. Despite these frequent errors, the structures attempted show a reasonable breadth, and communication is only rarely impeded by the grammatical inaccuracies.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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