Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Mostly people discuss about that the primary schools are emphasising too much on formal academic learning. I partly agree with this because schools shoul focus on academic education but the children should play diffrent games as taking part in games can boodt them socially, emotionally from both sides.

On the one side, people says students should focus on academic and formal learning. Child get frustrated and become a victom of stress teh reason is, too much school work get them boredom and make them less focused on theit tasts.

The result is they will not focus on their academic career and future because of burden.

On the other side, childeren should participate in different games. The mainly reason taking part in games and plays will remove the excessive burden from their brain. For example, this participation make them improve their brain functions, make them emotionally strong, and improve their creative thinkings.The result is students focus enhance the quality of their work. In addition youngstres become more likely to pay attention on other lifes tasts for instance, problem solving, creativity, focus, and make them complete multiple tasts at a same time. participation is different activities make them physically strong.

However, play should not completely replace the formal education of schools Therefore students should need formal lessons accordimg to their core subjets Mathematics, Science, English. Its schools responsibility to create a balance between extra curricular activities, different games and the studies.

In conclusion, although formal learning is as important as thier growth but we can not ignore students participation in different games as they play a vital role in students personaility. A reliable and balanved approach should be there for youngsters.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the focus on formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play alongside learning. A clear position is established and maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive and lacks depth. For instance, the discussion on why children get frustrated due to formal learning is brief and unsupported by concrete examples. Phrases like 'Child get frustrated and become a victom of stress' touch upon relevant points, but the extension of these ideas remains limited. The response successfully covers the requirements of the prompt and presents a coherent point of view, but the overall depth and extension of arguments correspond to the Band 6 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is organised into five paragraphs with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing a clear overall structure. Basic cohesive devices are used to signal progression, such as 'On the one side', 'On the other side', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and transitions are at times faulty or mechanical. For example, 'The mainly reason taking part in games' and 'participation is different activities' demonstrate awkward cohesion and mechanical linking. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion within paragraphs occasionally breaks down due to abrupt shifts and repetitive phrasing. Therefore, the organisational qualities align closely with the Band 5 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, attempting some less common words and academic phrases such as 'extra curricular activities', 'excessive burden', and 'academic career'. However, there are numerous word choice errors and spelling mistakes throughout the text, including 'shoul', 'diffrent', 'boodt', 'victom', 'teh', 'boredom', 'theit', 'tasts', 'childeren', 'thinkings', 'youngstres', 'accordimg', and 'personaility'. These errors indicate a limited control over spelling and word formation. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the general message, the high frequency of lexical inaccuracies prevents the score from reaching higher bands, fitting best within Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, using conditional and subordinate clauses like 'although formal learning is as important as thier growth but we can not ignore'. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, articles, and prepositions. Examples include 'Mostly people discuss about that', 'Child get', 'too much school work get them boredom', and 'students focus enhance'. Punctuation is also problematic in several places, such as run-on sentences and missing commas. Because errors are frequent and occasionally cause some difficulty for the reader, the grammatical performance is indicative of Band 5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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