Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Most people of this current era accepted that elementary schools pay more attentions on structured curriculam. i am heartedly disagree that, those schools who pay high attention just on studies leads toward the mental stress and loose confidence of primary schools.
Firstly, i would say that elementary schools should have to play games with studies. if thet do not do tha,t learners feel bore with studies that ultimately cause the mental stress. Moreover heavy burden of studies in first stage schools cause the healt issuse, for example If duration of class periods continously done by done, childs cannot learn the knoweldge that is given by instuctor. Furthermore they think they are unable to solve the class exercises that can cause mental health. Childes did not perform their studies with activ mind and they get low grades. In addition when their is some activity of fun is done during the class time, it can reduce the stress of child and they easily find out the studies problem actively.
On the other hand, if elementary schools add some plays with studies, childes can get high band score in their studies. Games play an important role in school life. By playing games at school level, it reduce the mental stress and enhance the physical or mental health . Through game childern can increase their mntal stability to perform life issues on young stages. when they play games with each other, they have chance to communicate with one another, that builds the confidence in their personalities and then they can easily focuse on their acdemics.
In conclusion, i would recommend to every school,to add some fun activities in their learnings. It can prepare the students to solve their problems on their self.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The candidate addresses both parts of the prompt, giving a clear position that disagrees with an excessive focus on formal learning and explaining why play is important in primary school. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive, which places the response in the Band 5 category. While the writer mentions concepts such as mental stress, confidence building, and health issues, these points are not sufficiently extended or supported with robust, specific examples. The explanation that 'heavy burden of studies... cause the healt issuse' lacks detail. Furthermore, the writer over-generalises without providing concrete evidence. To achieve a higher score, the response needs to explore the psychological and educational impacts of play versus formal learning in greater depth, moving beyond repetitive assertions about stress and fun activities.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay displays some basic organisational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, there is a lack of clear overall progression and logical flow. Cohesive devices are frequently misused or overly simplistic, such as repetitive transitions like 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, for example, the shift between pronouns like 'childs', 'Childes', and 'childern' creates disjointed reading. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of ideas within paragraphs is weak; the second body paragraph mixes points about band scores, physical health, and communication without smooth transitional links. Overall, the structural framework is basic and heavily mechanical, aligning with the Band 5 descriptors for Coherence and Cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. The candidate attempts some less common vocabulary items, such as 'curriculam', 'instuctor', and 'stability', but these are frequently misspelled or used with incorrect collocations. Basic words are often used incorrectly in context, such as 'loose confidence' instead of 'lose confidence', and 'activ mind' instead of 'active mind'. There are also persistent issues with word forms, such as 'healt issuse' and 'mntal stability'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a basic message about education and play, the frequency of spelling errors and inaccurate word choices keeps the lexical score restricted to Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0 based on positive marking for the attempt at topic-specific lepra.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting mostly of simple and attempted complex sentences that frequently contain serious errors. The candidate struggles with basic sentence structures, subject-verb agreement, and tense consistency. Examples include 'Most people of this current era accepted', 'i am heartedly disagree that', and 'when their is some activity of fun is done'. Punctuation and capitalization are also erratic, notably the lowercase 'i' used throughout the text. Complex structures are often faulty, leading to confusion and requiring the reader to decode the intended meaning. Because frequent errors persist across simple and complex forms and occasionally impede communication, this performance reflects the Band 5 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.