Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Formal way of education has been provided in most of the primary level institutes that becomes a debate for some individuals.I strongly agreed with that concept because i think there must be some sports included to the regular educational activities inside a classroom for children under middle level. It provides students a calming environment that frees them up from a hectic routine of cramming. Additionally, it helps them to keep theirselves active and sound.

A relaxing environment is considered to be the safest to freshen up pupils' minds that gives an oppurtunity to perform well. A good performance is greatly linked with the brain relaxation, while the cognitive tiredness leads to bad grades.For instance, a child who plays along with studies gets higher achievements because playing impacts his ability to gain knowledge in a better way. So, from my perspective, if a learner at a basic grade takes part in games side by side with studies, he will groom in more sophisticated way than the others who hardly play a single game.

Secondly, cramming becomes a social evil in our society, we should take prudent measures to get rid of it. Gaming could insert a positive effect to minimize that by involving kids in refreshing things. When they busy in doing various study based chores, they forget about to cram books. Instead of learning tiredly, they would learn more actively.For example, research has proved that an individual who plays soccer is more fit than th player who enjoys pizza with his books on the couch.

In conclusion, critics critisize the method of formal learning as a proponent i assume that more schools should be guided students in primary education about the value of sports. They should indulge pupils into the activities that help them grow with a growth mindset.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response successfully addresses both parts of the prompt: agreeing with the notion that formal learning is too dominant and discussing the importance of play in primary schools. The writer takes a clear position from the outset, stating, 'I strongly agreed with that concept because i think there must be some sports included.' The ideas are supported with examples, such as linking cognitive relaxation to better grades and contrasting the fitness of a soccer player with a couch potato. However, some arguments lack deep development and tend to overgeneralise, such as the sudden pivot to cramming as a 'social evil.' Overall, all parts of the task are adequately addressed, meeting the requirements for a Band 6.5 or solid Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a logical overall progression, with distinct paragraphs tackling different facets of the argument, starting with academic benefits, moving to social evils like cramming, and concluding with a summary. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'Additionally,' 'For instance,' and 'Secondly,' though some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. However, referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as 'that becomes a debate for some individuals' where the pronoun antecedent is slightly unclear. The flow is generally maintained, but clearer logical links between sentences would elevate the cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common phrases like 'hectic routine of cramming,' 'cognitive tiredness,' and 'growth mindset.' However, there are notable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'Formal way of education' instead of 'Formal education,' 'keep theirselves' instead of 'keep themselves,' and 'critisize' with a spelling error. The phrase 'gaming could insert a positive effect' is also an awkward collocation. While meaning remains clear throughout, these frequent lexical slips prevent the vocabulary from reaching a higher band level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some command over subordinate clauses, as seen in 'if a learner at a basic grade takes part in games... he will groom in more sophisticated way.' However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in verb forms, articles, and prepositions, including missing articles ('in most of primary level institutes'), incorrect verb tenses ('that becomes a debate' should be past or present perfect), and faulty passive/active constructions ('should be guided students'). Punctuation errors, such as missing spaces after commas and periods, are also noticeable. These errors occasionally strain the reader, fitting the Band 5.5 profile.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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