Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Some people argue that primary educational institues concentrate more on lessons learned in classrooms. In my opinion, while formal education is necessary in order to understand basic concepts, physical activity promotes brain development.
Undoubtedly, lessons taught in classrooms function as the basic building blocks of education which morph into complex concepts overtime. In order to gain better understanding of advanced topics, formal learning is important for primary students;however, young children who spend 6 to 8 hours in a clustered classroom often cause future adults to adopt a sedentary lifestye which also diminishesbrain development.
Playing sports leads to the enchancement of children's brain. When a child engages in games they unlock basic skills required to navigate real life effectively. For instance, when a child attempts to catch a ball, the brain judges the approximate distance and adjust hand position to catch the ball sucessfully. This results in the development of vital skills known as hand and eye cordination. Therefore schools should create alter routines to balance studies and physical activities in order for positive brain growth.
In conclusion, while formal education is essential for teaching basic concepts, schools should give equal importance to physical activities conducted within the school as it results in positive brain development.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The student has not fully met the word count requirement, as the response contains only 205 words against the minimum of 250 words. This negative impact on development means the ideas are somewhat restricted. Regarding the prompt, the writer addresses both parts of the question: they take a position on formal learning and explain the importance of play in brain development. However, the explanation remains somewhat concise and could be extended further. For instance, the example about catching a ball attempts to address physical benefits, but the argument that long classroom hours cause future adult sedentary lifestyles is slightly over-generalized. Because of the under-length penalty and the resulting under-development of ideas, this response aligns best with Band 5.5 in terms of task coverage.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response is organized into four paragraphs, following a logical structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a clear overall progression of ideas from discussing formal learning to exploring the benefits of physical play. However, cohesive devices are sometimes faulty or mechanical, such as the punctuation error in 'students;however,' and missing spaces or awkward transitions. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct arguments, but referencing and referencing chains could be smoother. Overall, the organizational structure is adequate and coherent, earning a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting less common terms such as 'sedentary lifestyle,' 'building blocks,' and 'enchancement' (enhancement). However, there are several spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, including 'institues' instead of institutes, 'lifestye' instead of lifestyle, 'diminishesbrain' lacking a space, and 'cordination' instead of coordination. Furthermore, 'alter routines' appears to be a misuse for 'alternative routines' or 'alternate routines.' These lexical errors do not impede communication, but they restrict the score to Band 5.5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing conditional or relative clauses like 'while formal education is necessary' and 'when a child engages in games.' There is good control of some complex structures, but errors in grammar and punctuation are noticeable. Examples include punctuation issues around semicolons, spelling mistakes, and awkward phrasing such as 'often cause future adults to adopt' where the subject-verb link is semantically strained. While communication is not severely impeded, the frequency of errors places this performance within the Band 6.0 category.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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