Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is believe by a group of individulas that primary school should focus too much on formal learning. I partially agree with this statement because formal learning is more essential for children to play as well as educate regarding the school classroom; however, I believe that other activities such as group work, quiz comppetition, and outdoor activities are crucial for children overall developement.

To begin with, there are several reasons why people believe that primary school should focus on formal learning. Initially, from primary school, students can learn about disciplane, behaviour, and punctuality. For example, some developing countries, primary school teachs their students between right and rong form their early age. As a result, students can develop their knowledge and they understand about which work better for them. Additionally, if children only focus their formal learning they can better performance at school and they achieve desire results in exams. Moreover, primary school also provides a time period for students to play, which is quite beneficial for cheldren health.

However, despite these advantages, other activities such as group work, competition, and outdoor activities are more essential for school children. Through providing outdoor activities they can enhance their communication skills and gain some valuable real-life experience. For instance, some children easily communicate with others people without hesitation and they achieve this ability by outdoor activities. Furthermore, if primary school provide group work or quiz competition, students find it more rewarding and they can develop their knowledge.

In conclusion, although primary school focus too much on formal learning, I believe that it is more crucial for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. Nevertheless, other activities such as outdoor activities and competition are equally significant for children overall developement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt, discussing both the extent of agreement regarding formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play alongside learning. The writer establishes a clear position in the introduction and maintains it throughout the essay, suggesting a balanced view where formal learning is supported alongside developmental activities like group work and outdoor play. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or repetitive, such as the discussion on discipline and behaviour, which lacks specific elaboration. The examples provided, such as communicating without hesitation through outdoor activities, are somewhat generalized rather than fully extended. These tendencies place the performance at Band 6.0, as all task parts are addressed with relevant ideas, but depth of support and extension vary across paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph-by-paragraph structure that follows a standard introduction, body, and conclusion format. Transitional markers such as 'To begin with', 'Additionally', 'However', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader through the text, although some cohesive devices feel slightly mechanical. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct arguments about formal learning and alternative activities. However, referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as 'which work better for them', where the antecedent is slightly unclear. Due to these occasional mechanical cohesive ties and minor referencing issues, the organization achieves a solid Band 6.0 level.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'punctuality', 'overall development', and 'communication skills'. However, there are notable word-choice and spelling errors throughout the response, including 'individulas' instead of individuals, 'educate regarding' instead of educate within, 'comppetition', 'developement', and 'disciplane'. Collocations are sometimes awkward, such as 'achieve desire results' instead of achieve desired results. While these errors are noticeable and detract from the precision of the writing, they do not impede communication, placing the lexical resource clearly within the Band 5.5 to 6.0 range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, using conditional structures ('if children only focus their formal learning they can better performance') and subordinate clauses ('although primary school focus too much'). However, grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in verb forms and agreement, such as 'It is believe', 'primary school teachs', 'primary school provide', and 'primary school focus'. Furthermore, sentence structures occasionally lack necessary prepositions or auxiliary verbs, as seen in 'some developing countries, primary school teachs their students between right and rong'. Despite these frequent errors, the meaning remains mostly clear to the reader, aligning well with the Band 5.5 descriptors.

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