Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people argue that the primary focus of the primary schools is providing formal education the children. While that is true for most schools now-a-days, in my opinion, the children should get time to play different games along with their studies as it will help them to grow in a healthy way.
Now-a-days there are a plenty of primary institutions which are only prioritizing to educate children as much as possible daily. This could be because in today’s world, parents are being so competitive regarding the studies of their children that they are admitting their children to school only to feed them with a bulk of knowledge. Furthermore, if the students do not learn fast, they might lag behind the race of the success. For example, in many countries primary students start with five to six classes a day leaving them no time to play.
However, the children can never grow well without proper balance of studies and other activities that they enjoy. Without adequate chances to play, the students will soon be frustrated and will eventually start hating their classes. In other words, they will lose focus on their subjects since they are not getting to relax after a big session of study. That is why, for a proper development of their mind, they must have opportunities to play different sports and games which will help them release the stress regarding lessons.
In conclusion, although most of the schools are only forcing the students to learn, this practice will soon make them frustrated. Therefore, there should be a balance of playing and learning in each child’s routine.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The writer clearly takes a stance agreeing that primary schools focus too heavily on formal learning, and addresses the importance of play alongside learning. The position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas remains somewhat general and repetitive. For instance, the argument that children will be 'frustrated' and 'hate their classes' is repeated across multiple paragraphs without being extended with deeper analysis or concrete examples beyond a brief mention of 'five to six classes a day'. This places the response comfortably in Band 6, where all parts are addressed, but some ideas are slightly under-developed or repetitive.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas. It is divided into four distinct paragraphs: introduction, body paragraph on formal learning, body paragraph on the importance of play, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to connect ideas, such as 'Furthermore', 'However', 'In other words', and 'In conclusion'. However, some referencing is slightly awkward or mechanical, such as 'the primary focus of the primary schools is providing formal education the children' (missing preposition) and repetitive transitions. Paragraphing is used sufficiently, and the progression from identifying the problem to discussing its consequences is clear, justifying a Band 6.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task. There are attempts to use less common items and phrases, such as 'feed them with a bulk of knowledge', 'lag behind the race of the success', and 'proper development of their mind'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text, such as 'the primary schools is providing formal education the children' (omission of preposition 'to'), 'now-a-days' (informal/spelling issue), 'a plenty of', and 'race of the success'. While these errors do not impede communication, they restrict the lexical score to Band 6.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures such as 'While that is true... in my opinion, the children should get time...' and 'if the students do not learn fast, they might lag behind...'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing choices, such as 'providing formal education the children', 'a plenty of primary institutions', and 'parents are being so competitive' (present continuous used inappropriately for a general state). Punctuation is generally acceptable, and errors rarely impede overall communication, placing the grammatical performance at Band 6.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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