Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.5)
Primary education plays a vital role in shaping a child's future. While academic learning is essential, some people believe that primary schools place too much emphasis on formal education and neglect the importance of play. I largely agree with this opinion because young children learn most effectively when education is combined with enjoyable activities.
On the one hand, formal learning provides children with fundamental knowledge and skills. Subjects such as mathematics, science, and languages help students develop logical thinking, communication skills, and problem-solving abilities. A well-structured curriculum also prepares children for higher levels of education. Therefore, schools should ensure that pupils build a strong academic foundation during their early years.
However, focusing exclusively on academic achievement may place unnecessary pressure on young learners. Children have shorter attention spans than adults and often learn more effectively through creative and interactive activities. Educational games, group projects, and role-playing not only make lessons more enjoyable but also encourage teamwork, creativity, and self-confidence. For example, children who participate in classroom games often improve their communication and social skills while remaining actively engaged in learning.
In my opinion, play is just as important as formal education in primary schools. Through play, children develop emotional intelligence, imagination, and the ability to solve problems independently. Outdoor activities and classroom games also improve physical health and reduce stress, allowing children to return to academic tasks with greater concentration. Consequently, a balanced approach that combines structured lessons with play-based learning is likely to produce better educational outcomes.
In conclusion, although formal learning is necessary for academic development, primary schools should not overlook the value of play. A healthy balance between learning and enjoyable activities helps children develop intellectually, socially, and emotionally, preparing them for future success.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.5 |
| Overall | 7.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5
The candidate has fully addressed all parts of the two-part prompt by discussing the extent of their agreement regarding formal learning in primary schools and evaluating the importance of play alongside learning. A clear and well-developed position is maintained throughout the essay. In the introduction, the writer clearly states, "I largely agree with this opinion because young children learn most effectively when education is combined with enjoyable activities." This position is effectively supported in the body paragraphs, which examine both the necessity of a strong academic foundation and the vital role of play in fostering social, emotional, and cognitive skills. The ideas are extended logically with relevant explanations and examples, such as mentioning classroom games and group projects. Consequently, the performance easily satisfies the Band 8 descriptor for Task Achievement by covering all parts of the task well with well-developed ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.5
The essay demonstrates a clear and logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Each paragraph has a distinct central topic, starting with the acknowledgment of formal learning benefits, moving to the disadvantages of excessive academic pressure, and concluding with a balanced perspective. Cohesive devices are used effectively and naturally without feeling mechanical or forced, as seen with transition words like "On the one hand," "However," "In my opinion," and "In conclusion." Paragraphing is managed appropriately, and referencing throughout the text is clear, ensuring that the reader can easily follow the line of argument. This level of organisation aligns well with the Band 8 descriptor for Coherence and Cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 7.0
The student demonstrates a wide, fluent, and flexible range of vocabulary appropriate for an academic discussion on education. Less common lexical items are used effectively and with good control, such as "fundamental knowledge," "exclusive academic achievement," "attention spans," "emotional intelligence," and "educational outcomes." Word choices and collocations are generally precise and natural, contributing to the clarity of the argument. There are only occasional minor limitations, but no significant inaccuracies interfere with communication or impede the reader. The lexical range and precision demonstrated throughout the response comfortably justify a Band 7.5, rounded to Band 7.0 or Band 8.0 depending on strictness; given the fluent delivery and accurate use of collocation, a Band 7.5 is awarded.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.5
The response exhibits a wide range of grammatical structures with a high degree of accuracy. The candidate successfully employs both simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses ("children who participate in classroom games"), conditional or participial structures, and multi-clause sentences with good control. The majority of sentences are error-free, and punctuation is handled correctly throughout. Minor slips are virtually absent, and complex syntactic structures are handled with confidence and ease. This strong control over grammar and syntax clearly aligns with the Band 8 descriptors, where the majority of sentences are error-free and only very occasional minor errors or inappropriacies appear.
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