Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some individuals believe that primary school focus too much on formal learning rather than extra-curricular activities. I agree that this statement because more education system tend to more academic work. I believe that balance approach important rather than focus too much on formal education.
On the one hand, nowadays many primary education systems have become more popular to focus too much on academic learning. More parents are willing to formal education because they need to provide better education for their children. As a result, many primary school focus academic teaching and it provides better knowledge and higher grade for children. Moreover, formal learning start from early age may encourage to understand of education system and improve their academic skills.
However, focus too much formal learning may negatively affect children physical and mental health. Firstly, student may suffer from some disability because of Lack exercises and lack physical activities. In addition, focus too much formal learning put on additional pressure for their lives. As a result, children creativity and problem-solving skills reduce. Furthermore, only focus on formal learning can affect children's behaviors.
In my opinion, government should introduce balance approach and primary education institute should focus on extra-curricular activities for their learning systems. Children play as well as learn in the primary school may positively affect their lives. Firstly, it may increase to children's creativities and basic skills. Therefore, children are willing to play some sports and they make new friends, and it helps to increase teamwork and group work. As a result, children increase their mental and physical health.
In conclusion, although focus too much on formal learning has some benefits, I believe that balance approach provides better opportunities and education system.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the task: it discusses the extent of agreement regarding formal learning in primary schools and explains the importance of play alongside learning. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band. For instance, the discussion on the negative effects of formal learning relies on general statements like "student may suffer from some disability because of Lack exercises" without sufficient elaboration or concrete examples. Similarly, the benefits of play are stated simply rather than thoroughly extended. Despite these limitations in depth, all prompt requirements are adequately covered, placing this response firmly at Band 6.0.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear paragraph-by-paragraph structure, including an introduction, two body paragraphs addressing each part of the prompt, a personal opinion/benefits paragraph, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used to signal transitions, such as "On the one hand", "However", and "In conclusion". However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally faulty or mechanical, as seen in repetitive sentence starters and awkward linking phrases like "As a result, children increase their mental and physical health." Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately to separate distinct themes, but the logical progression within paragraphs sometimes feels restricted by basic cohesive links and repetitive phrasing.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate their ideas about formal learning and play. There are attempts to use less common items and topic-specific vocabulary, such as "extra-curricular activities", "problem-solving skills", and "academic teaching". However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as "primary school focus too much", "education system tend to more academic work", and "balance approach important". Spelling errors like "creativities" also appear. These lexical inaccuracies do not seriously impede communication, but they restrict the score to Band 5.5 because precision and flexibility are lacking.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response demonstrates a mix of simple and some complex sentence forms, such as "Although focus too much on formal learning has some benefits, I believe that balance approach provides better opportunities..." However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ("primary school focus", "education system tend"), missing articles ("balance approach", "early age"), and incorrect verb forms ("formal learning start"). While these errors do not completely obscure the meaning and the reader can follow the main arguments, their frequency across most sentences prevents the grammar score from reaching Band 6.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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