Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this contemporary society, playing and learning go hand in hand. It is often argued that schools should focus merely on traditional formal education, while others believe schools, more importantly primary schools, should encourage students to participate in play as well as other extra curricular activities. I strongly disagree with the view of giving too much attention to education because it discourages the cognitive development of children.

There are few reasons why people believe children should only be involved in learning books. Firstly, due to the lack of information about kids' psycology and emotions. Most illiterate people are unable to understand the importance of play as they consider it a waste of time. They enroll their children in schools that pay attention to studies only. Secondy, some people believe that play and extra curricular pursuits may divert their minds from studies. As a result, they restrict the limit the activities of students.

Having said that, many people nowadays has understand the need and importance of play. Scientific evidence illustrates that playing is necessary for cognitive development and social interaction. Many schools have introduced different methods of teaching that gives greater chance to students to play while learning. For instance, schools are teaching toddlers different concepts of maths where they can use different tricky methods to solve questions. Resultantly, children learn the useful mathematics' skills while having fun.

In my opinion, although formal education let students to focus on studies, the complete removal of extra pursuits and fun would retard mental capacity of students and make them bookworms. Play is useful as it teaches useful skills including turn taking, collaboration, patiance and persistance.

All things considered, although focusing on formal education can give students theoretical knowledge and uninterrupted track, playing not only broadens students horizons but also helps them learn long-term experiences including cooperation, persevarence, and confidence. The advantages of incorporating play in primary education outweigh its removal altogether.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt: whether formal learning is too dominant and how important play is in primary school. You take a clear position against an over-reliance on formal learning and support it with relevant arguments about cognitive development and social skills. However, the explanation of why some people support strict formal learning is slightly underdeveloped, mentioning 'illiterate people' rather than broader educational perspectives. Overall, the ideas are extended and supported well, aligning comfortably with the requirements for a Band 6.5 or Band 7.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay displays a clear overall progression and logical paragraphing. Each paragraph has a discernible focus, moving from your introduction to opposing views, supportive evidence, and your final opinion. Cohesive devices are used adequately, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Having said that', and 'In my opinion'. However, some referencing and transitions feel a bit mechanical or slightly repetitive, and punctuation around transitional markers could be smoother. These minor cohesion issues place the response firmly in the Band 6.5 to Band 7 range.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate and generally appropriate range of vocabulary for the task. You attempt less common items such as 'contemporary society', 'cognitive development', 'extra curricular pursuits', and 'interrupted track', though some collocations and word forms contain errors (e.g., 'learning books', 'retard mental capacity', 'persistance', and 'persevarence'). Spelling errors like 'psycology', 'patiance', and 'persevarence' do occur. Despite these slips, communication is never impeded, reflecting a solid Band 6.0 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and participial phrases (e.g., 'Scientific evidence illustrates that...', 'Resultantly, children learn... while having fun'). There are, however, several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('many people nowadays has understand') and awkward phrasing ('let students to focus'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but sentence structures occasionally lack full control, placing this criterion at a Band 6.0.

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