Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that primary schools place excessive emphasis on formal education. I strongly agree with this view, as an overly academic environment can hinder children's overall development. In my view, incorporating play into classroom activities is equally important because it can support children's mental well-being, physical health and social development.

The primary reason why i agree with this view is that too much emphasis on formal education is affecting overall development of the children. This is because the children's are so occupied with academics all the time they do not get anytime for other activities. Furthermore, regular exams, assignments, and quizzes exert mental pressure on the mind of the students and teachers are promoting rote memorization which further affects the children's classical thinktank and skill set. As a result, children's overall development is seriously affected. For instance, a substantial number of primary schools in Pakistan are too focused on academic learning that they do not offer a single break during academic lectures which negatively affects the child overall and mental well-being as well.

On the other hand. mixing play with classroom activities is very essential as it supports children's mental recovery and improve their health and social skills. The main justification for this is that it reduces the mental stress so children can learn more efficiently and focus more on academic learning. Additionally these plays keep the children physically active helping them to remain fit and another advantage is that they learn different skills, communicating with others and solving different problems develop both their critical thinking and social skills. To put this into perspective, the results of a survey conducted in primary schools of Lahore clearly demonstrated that children who studied with incorporated plays into classroom activities performed better than those that only focused on academic learning.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that primary schools put their focus too much on academic leaning, whilst it is of significant importance that plays should be incorporated into children's classroom activities helping their overall physical and mental development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

The student successfully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The stance on formal learning in primary schools is clearly stated in the introduction and maintained throughout the essay. The writer both agrees that schools focus too much on formal learning and explores the importance of play. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant explanations and examples, such as the mention of schools in Pakistan and a survey in Lahore. However, some arguments tend to overgeneralize or repeat points regarding overall development and mental stress. Despite these minor repetitions, the task is comprehensively answered, fitting well within the Band 7 descriptors for Task Achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays clear logical organisation and a discernible progression throughout. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, two body paragraphs representing each part of the prompt, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'As a result', and 'On the other hand' are employed to connect ideas, though referencing is occasionally slightly repetitive or mechanical (e.g., 'The primary reason why i agree with this view is...'). Paragraph transitions work adequately to guide the reader through the arguments. Overall, the essay meets the criteria for Band 6.5, leaning towards a solid Band 6 due to some mechanical transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting less common items such as 'rote memorization', 'classical thinktank', 'mental well-being', and 'substantive number'. However, there are noticeable word-choice inaccuracies and awkward collocations, such as 'children's classical thinktank' and 'incorporated plays into classroom activities'. Spelling is generally acceptable, though minor capitalization errors occur (e.g., 'i'). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended meaning without impeding communication, placing the response firmly in the Band 6 category.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at complex structures such as conditional and relative clauses ('which negatively affects the child overall and mental well-being as well'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors, including punctuation issues, missing articles, and subject-verb agreement slips (e.g., 'the children's are so occupied', 'child overall and mental well-being', 'these plays keep the children physically active helping them'). These errors do not impede communication, but they restrict the score to a Band 6 as error-free sentences are not frequent enough for a Band 7.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.