Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Due to intensifying academic competition between primary school students , people often argue that primary school place excessive ephasis on formal learning .I completely agree with this view . however ,play have valuable place ,it can increase the academic results . To begin with ,Schools place excessive atttention towrds due to the fact competiton is getting high with the thim . If they play a lot they can't concentrate on their studies .Parents have the only view that their child can become suuccesful only if they have very good academic result . they can't be happy and couldn't get success in their life if they not score highest marks however the reality is totally different . Student shuld play for some time because they cannot concentrate for long time sitting in class room for 8 hours .play can enhance their rsults .While playing children leearn how to make descions on time . their communication skills can be enhanced ,it can make them self confident .if they continous their hard work they can be the one who succeed . Learning in the class is also important students get things easily mind is fresh . Playing is vital but excessiveness of anything is bad we all know In conclusion primary school place a lot of focus on formal learning due to parental pressure and institutional competition.Neverthless incorporating play is beneficial a student cannot while sitting in the class wholetime instead of scoring they score low and hate school so they find ways to avoid school so they start bunking classes and different things . If schools have some time for play student s will love school furthermore it will strenthen their moral discipline and make them punctual .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the two-part prompt by stating a clear position agreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, while also discussing the importance of play. The ideas, however, are often repetitive and under-developed. While the writer mentions parental pressure and institutional competition, the exploration of why play is vital remains somewhat superficial, touching upon concentration, decision-making, and communication skills without fully expanding on them with concrete examples. The conclusion attempts to introduce new arguments regarding school avoidance and punctuality, which shows an effort to extend ideas, but overall the development is constrained by limited elaboration. Consequently, the response aligns best with the Band 5 descriptors, as the task is addressed, but the ideas lack sufficient depth and clear structuring throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Coherence and cohesion are problematic throughout the text. Paragraphing is poorly handled; the essay is compressed into an overly dense body of text with abrupt shifts between ideas, such as moving from academic competition directly to play and back again without clear transitions. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, with frequent punctuation errors (such as missing spaces before punctuation marks, missing capitalisation at the beginnings of sentences like 'however ,play have valuable place', and fragmented sentences). While there is an overall progression attempting to argue a point, the lack of logical sequencing and mechanical errors in referencing make the text difficult to follow at times, placing it securely at Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0 based on general organisational attempts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary that is minimally adequate for the task. Words such as 'competition', 'academic', 'success', and 'concentrate' are repeated frequently throughout the text. There are also noticeable word choice and spelling errors, such as 'ephasis' instead of emphasis, 'atttention towrds' instead of attention towards, 'thim' instead of time, 'suuccesful', 'shuld', 'descions', 'continous', and 'strenthen'. Less common lexical items are attempted but usually contain errors in collocation or spelling. Although the meaning can generally be deciphered, these frequent inaccuracies cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a Band 5 performance for Lexical Resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is quite limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('student shuld play', 'student s will love'), missing verbs or auxiliary verbs ('if they not score highest marks', 'student a student cannot while sitting in the class wholetime'), and run-on sentences joined improperly with commas. Punctuation is also poorly managed, with spaces frequently misplaced around commas and full stops. Because errors are very frequent and occasionally distort the intended meaning or cause strain for the reader, this performance corresponds to a Band 4.0 descriptor.

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