Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, there has been a growing debate about whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning. While I agree that it is crucial for pupils to learn in a formal way to some extent, I believe that informal learning methods are equally important. Therefore, I partially agree with this statement.

On the one hand, this argument is partly correct. If children only learn in a formal way, they may not enjoy the learning process. This means that students who rely solely on textbooks might find lessons uninteresting. As a result, they could lose focus on their studies. For example, many children prefer playing outside, and if they are given opportunities to learn beyond textbooks, it can help them in the future and make learning more engaging. Additionally, focusing only on textbooks can be frustrating for children, which supports this argument.

On the other hand, this argument is not entirely convincing. One major issue is that if primary school children focus too much on playing, it may lead to problems in their academic life. This can result in students not taking their studies seriously. For instance, if schools emphasize playing over studying, children might eventually lose interest in education, which can negatively affect their future. Furthermore, children may develop habits where they prioritize playing rather than studying.

In conclusion, while I agree that some primary schools focus too much on formal learning to a certain extent, I believe that both playing and learning are equally important. Therefore, I partially agree with the statement.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. You clearly stated your position in the introduction, agreeing to some extent with the focus on formal learning while highlighting the importance of informal learning/play. Ideas are relevant, such as discussing student engagement versus academic progress. However, some of your supporting ideas feel a bit repetitive and under-developed, particularly when discussing the consequences of playing too much, which prevents this from reaching a higher band. To improve further, ensure that your arguments in the body paragraphs are extended with more specific examples or deeper analysis rather than repeating similar points about losing interest in education.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

Your essay has a clear overall progression and is easy to follow. You make good use of standard cohesive devices and organizational markers to structure your thoughts, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. Paragraphing is used logically, with each main idea assigned to its own paragraph. However, the cohesion can occasionally feel somewhat mechanical and repetitive in sentence structures (e.g., starting multiple sentences with 'If...'). Referencing is generally clear, but varying your cohesive devices and transitional phrases would create a smoother, more natural flow between ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The lexical resource used in this response is adequate for the task. You demonstrate the ability to use appropriate topic-related vocabulary such as 'primary schools', 'formal learning', 'academic life', and 'textbooks'. However, the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and you rely heavily on simpler, repetitive words (e.g., 'playing', 'studying', 'children'). There are very few less common lexical items or idiomatic phrases attempted, and some expressions lack precision. To achieve a higher band score, you should incorporate a wider variety of sophisticated synonyms and collocation patterns suited to academic writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You demonstrate a reasonable mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing conditional clauses like 'If children only learn in a formal way, they may not enjoy the learning process.' Your control of basic grammar is solid, and punctuation is generally accurate throughout the essay. The grammar errors do not impede communication at all. However, the range of complex structures is somewhat limited, and you tend to rely on repetitive sentence patterns. For a higher score, you should showcase a greater variety of grammatical structures, such as passive voice, relative clauses, and more advanced subordinate constructions.

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