Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The primary schools are very important in childrens upbringing.They play a keen part in development of childrens which leads them to successfull in future.There are some arguements that primary schools focus too much on formal learning,Which also effects the child mental health.let discuss this arguement briefly in next paragaph

In the starting part of any child life the child's brain is very small and its not bears too much learning and academic pressure.As the continous learning might effects its brain cells.The primary school should not focus only on formal learning in starting but also focuses on some plays also .These plays are very important for any child as its refreshes the mind,allow childrens to participate actively in different activities .If the primary schools focus too much on formal learning and not include any play activities,than its effect children health and mind and also its tends to severe medical issues in future.

Some people argue that primary schools should focus too much on formal learning. They though that from the starting we have to prepare childs mind in that way that he/she should focus on studies only and work hard and try to achieve good marks which leads them to successfull career.Some people though if the children take part in any kind of plays than its effect their focus on their studies make a bad impact on their grades also.

My opnion is that there should be enough plays for primary school childrens as it releases some tensions from their mind also it generates more focus on their study .The reason is if we give too much academic pressure to childrens from their early age than this cause depression among childrens and cause fear of bad grades.we should allow them to participate in play activities in that we found different talents in different childrens

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and explaining the importance of play alongside study. However, the development of ideas is limited and repetitive. For instance, the writer repeatedly mentions that formal learning causes stress or medical issues without providing well-supported examples or deep elaboration. Furthermore, the position is somewhat muddled by contradictions, such as stating in the third paragraph that 'Some people argue that primary schools should focus too much on formal learning' which appears to misstate the opposing viewpoint. While the main ideas are generally relevant to the prompt, the lack of fully extended supporting arguments and the over-generalised points restrict the response to a Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays basic organisation with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, but overall progression is hindered by frequent structural and mechanical flaws. Paragraphing is attempted, but the transition between ideas feels disjointed, and the opening paragraph is confusingly fragmented (e.g., 'let discuss this arguement briefly in next paragaph'). Cohesive devices are minimal or inaccurate; the writer relies heavily on basic conjunctions and repetitive phrases rather than sophisticated linking words. Referencing is occasionally unclear, as pronouns like 'its' and 'they' sometimes lack a clear antecedent or refer to the wrong noun. Due to these repetitive and inadequate cohesive features, the coherence aligns with a Band 4.5, rounded to 5.0 for basic organisational structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently circling around words like 'plays', 'learning', 'childrens', and 'formal'. There are numerous word choice and morphological errors, such as using 'childs' instead of 'child's' or 'children', 'successfull' instead of 'successful', and 'arguements' with double 'g'. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'medical issues' and 'academic pressure', but these are executed with noticeable errors that occasionally cause strain for the reader. The range of vocabulary is minimally adequate for addressing the topic, but frequent spelling and phrasing inaccuracies limit the lexical score to a Band 4.5, reflected as a 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the essay, characterised by a very limited range of structures and frequent errors. Simple sentences often contain punctuation and tense issues, while attempts at complex sentences are consistently faulty, such as 'As the continous learning might effects its brain cells' and 'If the primary schools focus too much on formal learning and not include any play activities,than its effect children health'. Subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'the primary schools are', 'the child brain... its not bears') and word form errors occur in almost every sentence. Punctuation is poorly handled, with missing spaces after commas and periods. These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a higher band.

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