Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It often belive by some people that the primary level schools give too much emphasize on formal education, some people might disagree but i stongly agree with this statement. The mental capacity of the kids are not that much strong to put them in formal education directly, however learning with playing will be a good approach to engage them in study affairs.

The institution that directly focus on formal education make it burden-some for new enroll students. As it's there first time to leave their parents and live a major portion of the day without their parents. Thus invloving them in classrooms with playing and related fruitfull activities made their interest in learning and adopting educational system. Resultantly, i belive that instead of formal education the educational organization should focus on play and lean concepts.

Furthermore, the modern schools exploring and learning new strategies that primarily focus on informal learnig. For example in Finland one of the quality education hub has no exam concept for early childs. They only engage them using practical approaches including playing, singing, tasks completion, drawing, sports competitions and sketching. These activities not only make the students productive but also increase their interest and help them to learn without the stress of passing exams.

In conclusion, schools should provide informal learning at early stages that help them to learn quiclky and made them easily adopt to the education system. Thus i believe that the primary learning stages should not focus too much on formal learning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, agreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and arguing for the importance of play alongside study. However, the text suffers from a major negative constraint: it falls short of the 250-word minimum by one word (containing 249 words), which requires a penalty under IELTS rules. Furthermore, while a clear position is established, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. For instance, the discussion regarding Finland is relevant and provides an example, but the reasoning throughout the essay relies heavily on basic assertions rather than fully elaborated arguments. As a result, the response best aligns with the Band 5 descriptors, as the task is only partially addressed due to the length infraction and under-developed idea extension.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay is divided into four paragraphs, demonstrating an awareness of standard essay structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, logical progression is hindered by frequent referencing errors and awkward mechanical cohesion. Phrases like "It often belive by some people" and "Resultantly, i belive" show basic and occasionally faulty connectors. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion within paragraphs lacks fluency. For example, the transition between discussing the burden on new students and the benefits of play is abrupt. Pronoun referencing is also unclear in places, such as in the concluding sentence "help them to learn quiclky and made them easily adopt", where the antecedent is ambiguous. These features place the response firmly at Band 5.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The lexical resource displayed is limited and repetitive. The student attempts some less common vocabulary items such as "burden-some", "fruitfull activities", and "educational organization", but these are frequently marred by spelling and word-form errors (e.g., "belive" instead of believed, "emphasize" instead of emphasis, "quiclky", "adopt" instead of adapt). There is also improper collocation, such as "study affairs" instead of academic matters or studies. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the general topic of formal versus informal education, the high frequency of word-choice and spelling errors prevents the score from reaching Band 6, keeping it at Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, and attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty. There are persistent basic grammatical errors throughout the text, including passive voice construction failures ("It often belive by some people"), subject-verb agreement issues ("The mental capacity of the kids are not that much strong"), and tense inconsistencies. Punctuation is also weak, notably the failure to capitalise the first-person pronoun "i" and the misuse of commas to splice independent clauses. Because simple structures contain errors and complex structures are consistently inaccurate, causing some difficulty and strain for the reader, this performance corresponds to a Band 5.

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