Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
As far as this topic is concerned, I would like to say that the impact of learning on students, which has always been debatable, has now become more controversial, with many people claiming that, sports for learners are beneficial, while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this argue has sparked controversy over the potential impact in recent years. From my perspective, the former proposition appears to be more rational. This essay will elaborate on the positive or negative impacts of this debate before leading to a logical conclusion.
Analyzing the statement further, the primary reason behind these issue is that focus on syllabus, poor management, poor parenting and non-availability of basic affordable of sports club. When discusssing this categorically, the main reason behind this is that, especially in our country, it has far-reaching consequences because young students have no proper education, no study discipline, no sense of right and wrong or good and bad about their health. For example, some students suffer from depression and stress due to study burden.
Moving further, it is pertinent to mention that, it is the basic duty of the government to provide a safe and stable academic environment for the betterment of the young learners. It is imperative for the educational authorities concerned too look into the factors behind these systemic issue and take a drastic action against this shortcomings in school regulations. Therfore, we can create a better learning country and more sustainable future for the next generations.
To encapsulate, I would like to appeal to the learned figures and policymakers to come forward focus their attention on these systemic failure and launch a vigorous campaign to reform modern educational system across the nation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the general topic of primary school education, but it struggles significantly with the specific prompts. The writer introduces a pre-rehearsed template and template-like phrases that do not fit the prompt accurately, mentioning a debate about 'sports for learners' rather than directly answering the two-part prompt regarding formal learning and the importance of play. While a position is stated, the ideas remain underdeveloped and somewhat disjointed. The text lacks concrete examples relevant to play versus formal learning in primary classrooms, leading to a Band 5.0 rating for task achievement. The discussion drifts into general statements about educational systems, poor parenting, and basic facilities rather than focusing sharply on whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and the role of play.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay is divided into four paragraphs, which provides a basic structural framework. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and confusing phraseology such as 'Moving further' and 'Analyzing the statement further'. Cohesive devices are often used mechanically or inappropriately, and referencing is unclear in places, such as when pronouns or demonstrative adjectives like 'these issue' lack clear antecedents. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal flow of ideas within paragraphs lacks clear sequencing. Consequently, these organizational flaws place the response firmly at Band 5.0 for coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is a mix of common and attempted less common items, but many collocations are awkward or inaccurate. Examples include 'non-availability of basic affordable of sports club', 'study burden', and 'systemic failure'. There are noticeable word-choice errors and grammatical slip-ups involving word forms, such as 'discusssing' and 'Therfore'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a general sense of the writer's concern, the errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a higher band. A Band 5.0 is appropriate here.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is weak. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('these issue', 'shortcomings'), punctuation slips, and awkward clause structures. For instance, the sentence starting with 'When discusssing this categorically...' becomes tangled and ungrammatical. While simple sentences are generally understandable, attempts at complex sentences are frequently faulty, leading to a band score of 5.0 for grammatical range and accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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