Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is undeniable that some primary schools focus more on formal learning than extracurricular activities. In this regards, this essay will outline the effects of focusing too much on formal learning along with a logical conclusion.

I agree that primary schools focus too much on formal book-based learning, this has a physical and mental effect on children in many ways, the first and foremost is that restraining students to formal learning hinders their social life, as without social activities and events, students become introverted and find it hard to blend in with others of their same age. Apart from this, only focusing on formal learning also affects a child's physical body, as sitting for long hours in a classroom can cause bad postural habits and affect overall physique by inhibiting exercise and decreasing muscle mass. To clarify it, children should remain active throughout the day, as their developing bodies require exercise and proper nutrition.

Moving forward, i think it is very important for children to play as well as learn in the school classroom. These first years of primary school act as a foundation in a student's future life, social skills gained in this age, last their entire lifetime. For example, a pupil playing in the classroom with their classmates, remains happy and energetic, engages in social interactions with other students. This helps the students in strengthening bonds and making new friends through play. While formal learning in classrooms is necessary, the benefits of informal learning through play should not be ignored. In addition, a relaxed and energetic child that plays and interacts with everyone in the classroom, generally performed better than under-active students.

In conclusion, There are major benefits of playing and learning simutaneously in the classroom for children. Most schools should adopt this system as this takes care of a pupil's mental as well as physical health, and also keeps them indulged in their studies. At last, it encorages students to focus on sports and other outdoor activities rather than studying only for exams.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt, discussing both the extent of agreement regarding formal learning and the importance of play in the primary classroom. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. The student develops relevant ideas, such as the social and physical impacts of excessive formal instruction and the developmental benefits of play, supporting them with logical reasoning and personal examples. However, some arguments tend to over-generalise slightly, and further extension could make the response even more robust. Overall, the task is successfully fulfilled, aligning well with the Band 6.5 to 7.0 profile.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the response into introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently to divide distinct ideas. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases like 'In this regards', 'Moving forward', and 'At last' are slightly unnatural or inaccurate. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and run-on sentences or comma splices—such as 'I agree that primary schools focus too much on formal book-based learning, this has a physical...'—disrupt the flow of logic between ideas, placing the response firmly in Band 6.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'extracurricular activities', 'introverted', 'postural habits', and 'inhibit'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and spelling errors that detract from precision, such as 'simutaneously' (simultaneously), 'encorages' (encourages), and the awkward collocation 'generally performed better than under-active students'. Despite these lexical slips, the vocabulary used is sufficient to convey the intended meaning without impeding overall communication, matching the Band 6 descriptor.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The writer uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some control over multi-clause structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation issues, particularly comma splices and run-on sentences (e.g., 'To clarify it, children should remain active throughout the day, as their developing bodies require exercise and proper nutrition'). Additionally, minor agreement issues and capitalization errors (e.g., 'i think', 'There are') occur throughout the text. While these errors do not seriously impede communication, they prevent the grammar score from reaching a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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