Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is argued that primary schools focus too much on formal learning. Some people think it is important for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom. I completely agree with this statement and in this essay I will support my opinion with examples. Firstly, formal learning puts a lot of pressure on students and student get stuck with the syllabus. It creates alot of unhealthy competition between students which results in the disturbance of mental health. Students get depressed and if they become unable to get good grades then unnecessary thoughts made their life miserable. Another reason i disagree with this idea is student become so involved in exams and grades that they dont know how to perform extracurricular activities. For this reason they lack their confidence and become shy. This will be problematic for their future and practical life. These student when entered into practical life they dont know how to communicate and results in failure. Formal learning is important but to some extent. To get enrolled in high merit universities, grades are necessary. Even every university has entry test and it based on previous learning. Getting good grades is also important but with informal learning. In my opinion, formal learning should be balanced with other activities. Learning is important but its method should based on various activities. Student should enjoy their learning. In this way they will learn as well as become confident. So, formal and informal learning are equally important.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
The response addresses both parts of the prompt regarding formal learning pressure and the importance of play in primary classrooms, establishing a clear personal position. However, the length requirement of 250 words was not met, as the essay contains 248 words, which incurs a penalty under the task achievement guidelines. Furthermore, some ideas—such as the link between school exams and future communication failure—are slightly over-generalized and under-developed. While the core arguments are relevant, the development lacks depth in places, resulting in a moderate score.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The essay is organized into distinct paragraphs, each with a discernible focus, moving from an introduction to body paragraphs discussing stress and extracurricular skills, and concluding with a balanced view. Cohesive devices are used, though they are occasionally mechanical or basic, such as repeating 'Firstly' and 'Another reason'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, for instance, when pronouns like 'this' or 'these student' bridge sentences across paragraphs. Paragraphing is present, but internal cohesion within paragraphs could be significantly smoother to achieve a higher band.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to communicate their thoughts on education and stress. However, the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive, with frequent reuse of words like 'learning', 'grades', and 'formal'. There are noticeable word choice and collocation issues, such as 'alot of unhealthy competition' and 'if they become unable to get good grades then unnecessary thoughts made their life miserable'. Less common lexical items are attempted but lack precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control over grammar is inconsistent. There are several noticeable grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('student get stuck', 'student become', 'these student when entered... they dont know') and missing articles ('entry test'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, their frequency prevents the response from achieving a higher band score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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