Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, there has been a growing debate whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning. I firmly agree with this view because too much emphasis on formal education can stess students and develop less creative skills. It is really important for kids to play in their primary school classrooms.

One of the major reason why I agree is that excessives formal education can make a child more anxious and will be hurdle in strengthen their creative learning. This is mainly because a children adapt things quicker if they are presented in an amusing way. Excessive formal education can make it challenging for children to develop their creativity. For instance, a child learn to count numbers quicker if they are taught through a songs and games. As a result, it is necessary for a primary student to learn in a creative way.

Playing is also necessary for a child because it helps to focus more and reduce boredom. It helps their mind to get relax and more active for learning. For example, a child can get irritated and annoyed if he is not enjoying what he is learning. Therefore, it is necessary for a minor to have play time.

In conclusion, I agree that primary schools should not focuss too much on formal education beacuse it lacks in creativity and slow down the process of learning. However, I believe it is necessary for a little one to play games, as it a fastest way to teach him things by playing games.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt by clearly agreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and explaining why play is important. The position is maintained throughout the essay. However, the ideas are somewhat repetitive and lack deeper development, as the arguments regarding stress, creativity, and boredom tend to overlap without being fully extended with rich examples. For instance, the example that 'a child learn to count numbers quicker if they are taught through a songs and games' is somewhat simplistic. These characteristics align best with Band 6, where all parts of the task are addressed, but some ideas remain under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay is arranged coherently with a clear overall structure, including an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as the drawback of formal learning versus the benefits of play. However, cohesion at the sentence level is occasionally faulty and mechanical. For example, the transitional phrases used ('One of the major reason', 'As a result', 'Therefore') are sometimes repetitive, and referencing is occasionally imprecise. There are also errors in logical progression due to circular reasoning between paragraphs. This performance fits Band 6 descriptors well.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, attempting some less common items such as 'excessive formal education', 'anxious', and 'creativity'. However, there are numerous lexical and morphological errors throughout the text, such as 'stess' instead of 'stress', 'excessives' instead of 'excessive', 'hurdle in strengthen' instead of 'a hurdle in strengthening', and 'focuss' instead of 'focus'. Word choice and collocations are occasionally unnatural. Because these errors do not impede communication but occur frequently, the lexical resource is characteristic of a Band 5.5, rounded to 6.0 based on the attempt at a functional range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing subordinate clauses with 'because', 'if', and 'that'. However, grammatical accuracy is weak, with frequent errors present in almost every sentence. Notable errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('a children adapt', 'a child learn', 'he is not enjoying what he is learning' where pronouns shift), article misuse ('through a songs'), and preposition errors. While the meaning remains generally understandable, the high frequency of basic and complex structural errors prevents the grammar score from reaching a higher band, placing it firmly at Band 5.0.

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