Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, there is a growing debate that schools give too much attention on formal learning, rather than making a balance with other activities. I strongly agree with this statement because students should be allowed to participate in co-curricular activities.

There are some reasons, why it is essential for learners to participate in physical activities in the school. One of the major reasons is that, it is necessary for overall growth. Students who are involved in physical games with learning may be more physically strong and mentally sharp than others. Moreover, these activities may help them to learn skills like, team work, time management, and leadership skills which are important for professional growth.

Furthermore, participating in such activities will be helpful in tackling many problems. For example, obesity and laziness are becoming more common in early ages. These can be tackle by doing exercise or playing sports in break time. For instance, private schools often get better results because of promoting sports with education. So that students are more healthy and physically fit in private institutions.

However, just focusing on sports activities may be badly effect the academic performances of students. Therefore, it is better to make a balance between both by fixing one hour for co-curricular activities and remaining hours should be devoted for learning. For example, in Japan students will encourage to participate in sports by giving rewards for best performances in both academic and playing activities.

In conclusion, although formal learning is necessary for academic purposes. I believe that creating opportunities for co-curricular activities without disturbing learning habits will be more beneficial for overall growth of the students.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The writer clearly states their agreement with the idea that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, and addresses the importance of play alongside learning. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. However, some ideas are somewhat under-developed or general, such as the claim that private schools get better results purely because of sports. The development could be pushed further with more specific, extended examples. Nevertheless, all requirements of the task are adequately met, placing the response solidly in Band 6.5 to 7.0 territory. Because the position is clear and all parts of the prompt are addressed, a band score of 6.5 is awarded.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with distinct paragraphs for introducing the topic, discussing physical benefits, addressing problem-solving aspects, offering counterarguments and solutions, and concluding. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'Furthermore', 'However', and 'In conclusion', though some referencing and transitions feel slightly mechanical or formulaic. For instance, the transition in the second paragraph 'There are some reasons, why it is essential...' is slightly awkward. Overall, the logical organization is clear, and the paragraphing is sufficient, supporting a Band 6.5 or 7.0 score. Due to minor mechanical cohesion issues, a band score of 6.5 is appropriate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'co-curricular activities', 'overall growth', 'time management', and 'obesity'. However, there are notable lexical and collocational errors throughout the text. For example, 'give too much attention on' should be 'give too much attention to', 'badly effect' should be 'badly affect', and 'playing activities' is unnatural compared to 'recreational activities' or 'sports'. Additionally, punctuation errors like unnecessary commas ('reasons, why') slightly detract from control. Because the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the message despite these noticeable inaccuracies, a band score of 6.0 is well-justified.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures such as conditional and modal constructions ('Students who are involved...', 'these can be tackle...'). However, there are frequent grammatical errors in the text, particularly with verb forms and voice, such as 'these can be tackle' (instead of 'tackled'), 'students will encourage' (instead of 'are encouraged'), and a tense agreement slip in 'remaining hours should be devoted'. Punctuation errors also occur, such as sentence fragments and comma splices ('...for academic purposes. I believe...'). These errors occasionally cause minor hesitation for the reader, fitting the Band 6 descriptor where a mix of structures exists alongside persistent grammatical errors that do not severely impede communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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