Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning, such as reading, listening, writing and speaking, rather than playing. I do not agree with this opinion because excessive formal learning can have negative effects on children, while playing can provide several important benefits.

There are several disadvantages to focusing too much on formal education at primary school. To begin with, too much academic work can negatively affect children's mental health and may contribute to anxiety and depression at an early age. Additionally, children have their own hobbies and interests, such as playing sports, dancing and singing. If they are given enough time to develop these interests, they may be able to turn their hobbies into future careers. For instance, if a child is particularly interested in cricket and performs well, regular practice and encouragement could help them reach a professional level or become a cricketer.

Playing is also important for children's overall development. Firstly, playing games can improve their logical thinking and problem-solving skills, which may help them concentrate better on their studies. Secondly, when children play with their friends, they can become more sociable and develop stronger relationships with others. Lastly, physical activities can help children feel relaxed and calm, which may reduce stress and pressure in their lives. Therefore, play should be considered an important part of primary education rather than being treated as a waste of time.

In conclusion, I disagree that primary schools should focus too much on formal learning. Although academic subjects are necessary, children should also have sufficient time to develop their hobbies, interact with their friends and relax through play. A balance between studying and playing can support children's academic and personal development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The candidate has effectively addressed all parts of the two-part prompt. The opening paragraph clearly states a position ('I do not agree with this opinion'), which is maintained consistently throughout the essay. The first body paragraph explores the disadvantages of excessive formal learning, while the second body paragraph outlines the specific benefits of play for children's social and psychological development. Ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, such as turning hobbies into professional careers like cricket. The response meets all task requirements with a well-rounded and cohesive argument, earning a solid Band 7.0 for fully addressing the prompt with extended and supported ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The essay displays a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct central topic, moving smoothly from the introduction to the negative effects of formal learning, the benefits of playing, and finally the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used effectively and naturally, such as 'To begin with', 'Additionally', 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Lastly'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, ensuring the structure is easy to follow. Referencing is clear and logical, maintaining a smooth flow of ideas from one sentence to the next. This meets the criteria for Band 7.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

The student demonstrates an adequate to sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and collocations such as 'mental health', 'logical thinking', 'problem-solving skills', and 'overall development'. While the vocabulary choice is generally appropriate and communicative, it occasionally leans towards standard or repetitive phrasing ('focus too much on formal learning', 'important for children'). However, there are very few spelling or word-choice errors, and meaning is communicated clearly and precisely. The lexical control aligns well with the descriptors for Band 6.5, providing sufficient flexibility and precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0

The essay exhibits a good mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating control over grammatical structures. The writer successfully uses complex conditional and subordinate clauses, such as 'If they are given enough time to develop these interests, they may be able to turn their hobbies into future careers' and 'Although academic subjects are necessary, children should also have sufficient time...'. Punctuation and sentence boundary control are generally accurate, and errors are rare and non-systematic, meaning they never impede communication. The presence of frequent error-free sentences alongside a variety of complex structures places this performance securely at Band 7.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.