Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is often argued that primary schools focus too much on formal way of learning. This essay will discuss on this statement and how it is significant for the toddlers to de physical activities while learning at the same time in the primary schooling.
One the one hand, children in primary schools are still in there learning stage of life as well as their brain is not fully developed so putting too much pressure of studies can be an obstacle for the future of the child. However, learning should not be the main thing to do in a kindergarten but also to do as many physical activities simultaneously. Furthermore, highly skilled and trained staff should be hired by the schools who can understand the student personally and what they need as they should be handled with care and patience. In addition, children must be kept engaged in games which can enhance their brains power.
One the other hand, there should be ample amount of play area in a primary school for the toddlers as it is often found in previous studies that children spending most of their time in playing on ground or parks are much healthier both physically and mentally than the children who did not.
To conclude, from my perspective learning should not be the major thin
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 250 words, stopping abruptly at 219 words with an unfinished concluding sentence ("To conclude, from my perspective learning should not be the major thin"). Furthermore, the second question regarding the importance of play in the classroom is only partially addressed, as the essay drifts into general statements about playgrounds rather than focusing specifically on the primary school classroom environment. While the writer attempts to present a position, the truncation severely hinders full task development and coverage of all prompts.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay attempts a basic organisational structure, utilizing cohesive markers such as "On the one hand", "Furthermore", and "To conclude". However, paragraphing is problematic; the second body paragraph repeats the 'one the one hand' formula incorrectly as "One the other hand", and the text breaks off mid-sentence before the conclusion can be fully realized. Progression lacks clarity due to the incomplete nature of the response, though the individual sentences generally follow a sequential logic up to the sudden cutoff.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with noticeable inaccuracies such as "toddlers" (inaccurate for primary school children aged 5-11), "brain's power", and "de physical activities" (typographical error for 'do'). While the student attempts some less common phrases like "enhance their brains power", word choice and collocations are frequently flawed. Spelling is generally acceptable, but the lexical range remains limited and minimally adequate for an academic task.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response shows a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but control is inconsistent. There are several grammatical errors, including preposition misuse and faulty phrasing such as "still in there learning stage" (their) and "putting too much pressure of studies". Clauses are sometimes awkwardly joined, and punctuation is missing or incomplete at the end of the text. Although some sentences are accurate, the frequent errors and the unfinished ending pull the score down.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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