Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Education plays an vital role in humans lives. Thereadter majority of individuals are debated about it ,that elementary schools have a lot of target on formal learning.In my prospective,to some it is crucial to learn formal language in schools which i will elaborate in subsequent paragraphs.
The first and foremost point is, teacher cannot force to children to sit ling hours in schools. Because if teacher v force to learners to stay 45 minutes constantly on benches then it eillnot feel comfortable to them. Thus, thry will be discourage from their study and they do not proper concentrate on their subjects.It will negetively impact on their academic score.
Another point is , rather than learning formal teacher firts priority to study to students by hand on hand because when they will by reading books and they will learn something new in their life which will proves to better carrier opportunity and it might be helpful then alot in future business an they get goid profession.
To conclude,there is no doubt that if students learn from primary schools rhen gradually till the university,they will get good communication skills and receive valueable job .So rather then sit more time in class teacher should have to study by practice.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, as it contains only 206 words, which leads to a downward adjustment in Task Achievement. Furthermore, the response only partially addresses the prompt. While it touches upon formal learning, it struggles to maintain a clear and consistent position on the extent of agreement and fails to properly discuss the second part of the prompt regarding the importance of play alongside learning. Ideas such as 'teacher cannot force to children to sit ling hours' are underdeveloped and obscure the argument. To improve, ensure all parts of the two-part question are fully addressed with extended and supported examples, and meet the word count.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The response displays some organization into paragraphs, but there is no clear overall progression of ideas, resulting in a disjointed structure. Cohesive devices are either missing, inadequate, or inaccurate, such as 'The first and foremost point is' followed by flawed syntax, and abrupt transitions like 'Another point is' and 'To conclude'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs is weak. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical flow. For instance, sentences are strung together without proper logical links, leading to a fragmented reading experience.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary range is very limited and minimally adequate for the task. There are numerous word choice, spelling, and collocation errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader, such as 'Thereadter' instead of 'Therefore', 'ling hours' instead of 'long hours', 'v force' instead of forces, 'negetively' instead of negatively, and 'valueable' instead of valuable. Attempts to use less common vocabulary result in awkward or incorrect expressions like 'good profession' or 'hand on hand'. To reach a higher band, the student needs to expand their vocabulary range and eliminate frequent spelling and word formation errors.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The response shows a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex structures that are almost entirely faulty. There are pervasive grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('teacher cannot force to children'), incorrect verb forms ('eillnot feel comfortable'), and awkward preposition use. These errors are frequent and often strain the meaning, making parts of the text difficult to decipher. To improve, the student must focus on basic sentence construction, correct tense usage, and reducing persistent grammatical errors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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