Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Schooling recognized important era of life for every students, specially primary schools, where children develop their knowledge, wishdom, and health as well. However, plenty of primary schools, provides attention only on academy, while other activities are equally important for students, the following essay will discuss my opinion for the concern.

First and foremost, schools, teachers, and parents plays very important role, in overall development of child, they are responsiable, for his or her behaviour, career decesions and other activities they do. at that time, plenty of school follows strict rules for student's education, and not children let spent their favourable time. Eventually this strictness converts into perfomance pressure to the child, which leads to poor performance. Furthermore, because of unnecessary more attention to the education students are not able to follow their passion. good skills of individual, get disappear in adulthood. Moreover because of lack of play child not able to make new friends, and schooling feel boredom to them.

Secondairly, some extra activities, helps childern improve some skills such as a, leadership, communication, and decesion taking. students not only become extrovert, but also they develope their behaviour, via other part time activities in a school. Partcipation in some physical or sports acitivities encourage them to impove their skills, also with such participation they become great aethelits in the future. However, with all these physical activities improve the abilities of student's mind, ultimately they perform good in their academic too.

In conclusion, playing and some extra curuculam activities, are incredibly efficient way to childern over all growth, however studies are equally important for design their career positively. with balanced studies and play schools are able to make upcoming generation stronger.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing the extent of agreement regarding formal learning in primary schools and the importance of play alongside learning. A clear position is maintained throughout the essay. The ideas presented, such as performance pressure caused by strict rules and the benefits of extracurricular activities on social and cognitive development, are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and occasionally relies on generalisations rather than fully extended arguments or concrete examples. For instance, the mention of children becoming great athletes is brief and unsupported. Nevertheless, all parts of the prompt receive attention, which aligns the response with the Band 6 descriptor.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the writing into an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is frequently faulty or mechanical. Transition phrases like "First and foremost," "Secondairly," and "In conclusion" are used, but internal cohesion is hindered by punctuation errors, run-on sentences, and referencing issues (e.g., "childern over all growth, however studies are equally important for design their career"). Paragraphing is present, but the logical progression within paragraphs is sometimes disrupted by confusing sentence boundaries. These issues place the response firmly in the Band 5 to 6 range.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate to the topic, including terms like "overall development," "performance pressure," and "extracurricular activities." However, there are numerous spelling and word-choice errors throughout the text, such as "wishdom" instead of wisdom, "acadmey" and "academy" for academics, "responsiable," "decesions," "boredom" used as an adjective, "Secondaryly," "childern," and "curuculam." While the vocabulary is adequate to convey the general meaning, these persistent inaccuracies limit precision and place the lexical score at a Band 5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical control is weak. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., "plenty of primary schools, provides," "teachers, and parents plays," "child not able"), incorrect prepositions, and structural fragmentation (e.g., "Furthermore, because of unnecessary more attention to the education students are not able to follow their passion. good skills of individual, get disappear in adulthood"). Punctuation is also problematic, with commas frequently misplaced between subjects and verbs. Because these frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader, the grammar score reflects the Band 5 descriptor.

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