Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In big cities today, there is a major problem with finding enough homes for people. Some people think that building tall apartment blocks is the best way to solve this housing shortage. In my opinion, I agree that high buildings are very good for saving space, but I also think cities need other solutions like building in countryside areas.

On the one hand, tall buildings are useful because they can hold many families on a small piece of land. In large cities, land is very expensive and there is not enough space to build small houses for everyone. For example, in crowded cities like Singapore, millions of people live in high apartments. This helps them to live near their jobs and use public buses and trains easily. Therefore, building upwards is a practical idea to give homes to a large population.

On the other hand, relying only on tall buildings can cause problems. When too many people live in one tall tower, the local area becomes very crowded. This leads to traffic jams on the roads and puts a lot of pressure on water and electricity systems. Also, living in a small flat high up can make people feel lonely because there are no gardens or parks nearby. To fix this, governments should also build homes in suburban areas and make fast trains so people can travel to the city center easily.

In conclusion, I think tall apartments are a great way to provide enough housing in crowded cities. However, it is not the only option, and city planners should also build outside the city to avoid overcrowding.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 2.0

The response presents a significant issue right at the start: the student has answered a completely different prompt regarding housing and tall apartment blocks in big cities, whereas the actual writing task prompt concerns whether primary schools focus too much on formal learning and the importance of play. Because the text fails to address any part of the actual task instructions, it cannot be awarded a passing score for Task Achievement. The ideas presented are well-developed in their own right, with clear examples such as Singapore, but they are entirely irrelevant to the topic provided. According to the band descriptors, responding to an off-topic prompt results in a low score, as the primary requirement of addressing all parts of the task has not been met. Therefore, a band score of 2.0 is assigned.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

Despite being off-topic, the text itself exhibits a clear and logical organisational structure. The essay is divided into distinct paragraphs with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used appropriately to guide the reader through the arguments, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'For example', and 'In conclusion'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and effectively to separate distinct points. Referencing is generally clear, with pronouns like 'this' correctly pointing back to previous clauses. While the content is irrelevant to the actual prompt, the internal coherence and cohesion of the writing demonstrate a competent organizational ability that aligns with Band 6.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is adequate and functional for discussing urban planning and housing shortages. The student successfully employs less common lexical items and phrases such as 'housing shortage', 'practical idea', 'local area', and 'city planners'. Word choice is generally appropriate, and collocation is mostly natural, as seen in expressions like 'public buses and trains' and 'traffic jams on the roads'. There are no significant spelling or word-choice errors that impede communication. While the vocabulary lacks the sophistication and wide-ranging flexibility required for higher bands, it comfortably meets the criteria for Band 6.0 due to its sufficient range and accuracy for the task attempted.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates a good mix of simple and complex sentence forms. Examples of complex structures include 'Some people think that building tall apartment blocks is the best way to solve this housing shortage' and 'When too many people live in one tall tower, the local area becomes very crowded.' Grammar and punctuation are handled with reasonable control, and errors are infrequent. Where minor errors do occur, they do not impede communication or obscure the writer's intended meaning. The sentence structures are varied and mostly accurate, showing a level of control that fits comfortably into the Band 6.0 descriptor for Grammatical Range and Accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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