Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I think this is important because in primary school child are in their starting stages and its compulsary to learn them formally for their base of knowledge and their future in education if teachers start informal learning it will become so much complicated for them for their future approachs, So thats why its important in primary schools. I am agree with this opinion because I experienced it in my past . FOR EXAMPLE: My primary school formal learning creates a huge level of knowledge for me which became beneficial for me till my graduation , I learned so much basic knowledge from formal leanring by my school . The knowledge which I got from my primary schools is still useable and I remember that ,but after that the knwoledge which I got from secondary or higher secondary is good and I remember but didn't much usefull as primary school formal learning was for me .If a children wants to get success in their future life and he/she wants to learn something which will be very succcesive in their career and their next stages of education this is important to get eccessive formal knowledge from their primary schools . I think students should gave more focuss and time on their primary teachings and gave extra time to their learnings because it is very important to target their future goals al though it is also important for parents to support them for formal learning in this stage because if they focus once in this stage they never ever have to focus more like this again because this learning make them very brilliant and successful for future achievemnts and goals in life career growth and education .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position on formal learning in primary schools, mentioning personal experience to support the argument. However, the second part of the prompt concerning the importance of children playing as well as learning in the classroom is largely neglected, as the essay focuses almost exclusively on formal learning without sufficiently balancing the discussion with the role of play. Ideas are presented but tend to be repetitive and under-developed, relying on sweeping generalisations rather than well-extended arguments. According to the band descriptors, because some parts of the task are only partially addressed and the development is limited, this performance aligns with a Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The entire response consists of a single, extremely long paragraph without any paragraph breaks, which significantly impacts the logical organisation and visual structure of the essay. Cohesive devices are minimal and basic, with run-on sentences connected by simple conjunctions or commas rather than proper punctuation and transition markers (e.g., 'So thats why its important...'). Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the lack of paragraphing means there is no clear progression of ideas from introduction to body and conclusion. This demonstrates features characteristic of Band 4.0, where information and ideas are not arranged coherently into paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with frequent reliance on everyday words like 'learning', 'knowledge', 'important', and 'future'. There are noticeable word-choice and word-formation errors, such as 'compulsary to learn them formally' and 'future approachs'. Spelling errors also occur, including 'succcesive', 'focuss', and 'achievemnts'. While the meaning can generally be discerned, the limited range and frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and restrict the score to a Band 4.0 under the lexical resource descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The essay is characterized by massive run-on sentences that lack appropriate punctuation, resulting in a severe lack of grammatical control. For example, the entire text relies on comma splices and missing periods, making it a single unbroken stream of text. While there are a few simple structures that are correct, complex structures are generally absent or attempted with frequent errors, such as 'If a children wants' and 'student should gave more focuss'. Punctuation is largely neglected throughout. These pervasive errors that impede smooth reading place the response firmly at Band 4.0.

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