Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
A recent debate centers on primary schools where some people state that primary schools are more focused on formal learning. Playing and learning both are essential parts for a child's growth and development. However, i personally believe formal learning is a good thing educated by the primary schools.
Children are keen to learn new stuffs as they grow, try to discover new behaviors, and show their alternative mood swings. This is an absolute stage for them to learn basic ettiquetes and formal ethics. For istance, a kid must know how to behave with elders in a respectful manner and what gestures are appropriate while sitting with them. Furthermore, these have an ever-lasting impact on a toddler, thus leading to a groomed personality as an adult. These formal behaviors will be fruitful for the person in his young life, as it develops the personality and it assists in further years when a person steps into the professional life.
Additionally, a childhood learning comes alot from the playful activities not only with the toys one plays with but also with fellow childrens around, they pick new habits and attitudes from them. For example, through playing a toddler learns the art of being self-sufficient and enjoys a leisure time all by oneself. In a classroom, children experience the way they should perform in by being in a social gathering with other individuals or while they are studying in a group.
Learning to act in a formal way is a positive approach by primary schools to polish the students' personality in the best ways possible so to become a proud citizen of the society in future.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response addresses the two-part prompt by discussing both formal learning and the role of play in primary schools, presenting a personal view that formal learning is positive. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. While the writer mentions that formal learning teaches basic etiquette and prepares children for future life, the elaboration remains at a general level without fully exploring the extent of agreement with the initial statement or analyzing the exact importance of play in balance with formal learning. The student includes some examples, such as learning how to behave with elders, but overall, the ideas are under-developed, aligning best with Band 5 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
The essay displays a basic structural arrangement, breaking down the response into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. However, overall progression is hindered by awkward transitions and repetitive sentence structures. Cohesive devices are sometimes used mechanically or inaccurately, such as 'Additionally, a childhood learning comes alot from the playful activities not only with the toys...' and 'For istance'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and paragraphing could be improved to isolate distinct arguments more effectively. Because there is some organisation despite the faulty and repetitive cohesion, the response fits comfortably into Band 5.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is relatively limited and occasionally inaccurate. The student attempts some less common terms and phrases, such as 'alternative mood swings', 'ever-lasting impact', and 'self-sufficient', but these often demonstrate awkward collocations or incorrect word choice. Additionally, there are notable spelling and word-form errors throughout the text, including 'ettiquetes', 'istance', 'alot', and 'childrens'. While the range of vocabulary is minimally adequate for addressing the general topic, these persistent errors and limitations in precision restrict the score to Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response exhibits a mixed range of simple and complex sentence structures, but attempts at complex sentences frequently contain grammatical errors or awkward phrasing, such as 'A recent debate centers on primary schools where some people state that primary schools are more focused on formal learning' and 'In a classroom, children experience the way they should perform in by being in a social gathering...' Punctuation and article usage are inconsistent, and errors occur with high frequency, sometimes causing difficulty for the reader (e.g., 'educated by the primary schools', 'a childhood learning'). These features reflect the Band 5 descriptor level.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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