Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is argued that primary schools focus too much on formal education and neglect other opportunities such as playing in the classroom. It is agreed that the schools are now bound to the formal learning rather than any other extra activities. Firstly, I will explain the benefits of sports and games and secondly, I will discuss how the teachers as well the parents can come forward to encourage their children to take part in different kinds of play and games.

For today's generation, formal education as well as additional activities such as games both are necessary to shape the life of the children. If the children engage themselves with these kinds of activities, it will assist them to not only learn and cope with something new but also to develop some soft skills such as teamwork, ethics. For instance, Japan has taken strict actions to make games and sports as a mandatory part of education, so that the children can take part in different sports which will eventually help them to build new connections, learn basic manners and etiquette, cope with various circumstances.

The instructors and the parents can come forward to encourage playground activities from the early stage of life of their children. The teachers can make a separate routine alongside the education, during which the students will play with their buddies. In addition, parents should also spend more time with their kids to enjoy different activities such as board games and other sports besides their home work. For example, in Australia, teachers are now taking initiatives to arrange annual sports day so that the pupils can take part in different sports and get rid out of their monotonous life for a while.

In conclusion, primary schools should be concerned about playing different games along with the formal education for a better future. They should introduce the children with the outside world by allowing them to participate in various activities besides their regular classes.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The student clearly agrees that schools focus too much on formal learning and explains both the benefits of play and how teachers and parents can encourage it. The position is clear throughout the essay. However, some ideas are slightly under-developed or generalise rather than being fully extended with specific evidence. For instance, the mention of Japan and Australia attempts to use examples, but they are stated broadly without deep elaboration. This places the response comfortably at Band 6.5 to 7.0. Overall, the task is answered satisfactorily, but deeper exploration of specific impacts would push it into higher bands.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. Cohesive devices are employed, such as 'Firstly', 'In addition', and 'In conclusion', though some referencing is a bit mechanical or repetitive. For example, the sentence 'It is agreed that the schools are now bound to...' slightly echoes the prompt rather than seamlessly guiding the progression of thought. Logical organisation is maintained throughout, ensuring that the reader can easily follow the progression from the benefits of play to the practical methods of encouraging it, which earns a solid Band 6.5 or 7.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'mandatory', 'etiquette', 'monotonous', and 'initiative'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation errors that prevent a higher score, such as 'get rid out of their monotonous life' instead of 'escape their monotonous routine', and missing prepositions like 'how the teachers as well the parents'. Despite these minor inaccuracies, communication is never impeded, and the vocabulary remains sufficiently flexible to address the topic effectively, placing it securely at Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at varied structures such as relative clauses and conditional-style consequences ('If the children engage themselves...'). There are some grammatical errors throughout the text, including article issues ('bound to the formal learning', 'from the early stage of life'), awkward phrasing ('engage themselves with'), and minor punctuation or prepositions lapses ('teachers as well the parents'). However, these errors rarely impede communication and the basic meaning remains clear. The control of grammar is generally sufficient for a Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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