Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Its often arged that primary institutes should improve their study styles and rather than focusing tooo much on structured learning, they should incorporate games and plays to make education more enjoyable and engaing for young students. I vehemently agree with this concord that primary schools shou;d adopt new interactive teaching style to make an education an enjoyable activity for students.

one of the most sigmificant benefit of amalgamating plays and toys in the formal learning that it improves the learning experienec for the young students and make the formal study more intercative. this helps the students in good memorization because its often said that our brains might forget the lecture delivered through notes and apers but it will never forget the lesson that learned through practicals or toys. for an instance, famous alphabet song ABC helps students to memorize the aalphabets and it also helps them to improve their pronunciation and recognition of sounds. Furthermore, every student has different intellectual level, some students can learn through traditional methods, buts its very high time to include the toys, visuals and games into prevous used methods. because children have a very short attention span, so these colourful toys, visuals increase their attention span and results in higher engagement of student in learning.

However, i strongly disagree with the primary schools focusing too much on formal learning because it places a huge burden on young souls. due to such high burden and exagerrated learning, there rae higher chances of burnout for children. The formal learning further contributes in making the classroom competetive which cause the rat race phenomenon among students and they focus more on parroting. So, in ordre to produce cteative minds, schools should arrange the training programs for the students to promote the interactive learning style.

to conclude, games and toys should be a part of formal education in order to a ke it more engaging

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The student takes a clear position agreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and that play is crucial. Ideas are extended with examples, such as mentioning the alphabet song and the role of visuals for short attention spans. However, the development of ideas tends to over-generalise slightly in places, and some arguments lack deeper elaboration. Overall, the task is addressed adequately and a clear stance is maintained throughout, placing this response comfortably at Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear attempts at paragraphing and structuring an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is frequently faulty and mechanical. There are numerous punctuation errors, missing capitalization at the start of sentences (e.g., 'one of the most', 'this helps', 'to conclude'), and mechanical errors like missing spaces. Referencing and cohesive devices are sometimes clumsy or repetitive (e.g., overuse of 'because' and transitional phrases). Paragraphing is attempted, but the conclusion is abrupt and lacks a full stop. These issues warrant a Band 5.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The student attempts a range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, including terms like 'amalgamating', 'intellectual level', 'exagerrated learning', and 'rat race phenomenon'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors throughout the text, such as 'arged' instead of argued, 'tooo' instead of too, 'engaing' instead of engaging, 'concord' instead of concept/accord, 'sigmificant' instead of significant, 'experienec' instead of experience, 'apers' instead of papers, 'aalphabets' instead of alphabets, 'prevous' instead of previously, and 'cteative' instead of creative. These errors reflect a Band 5 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some capability to construct multi-clause sentences. However, frequent grammatical and punctuation errors are present, including subject-verb agreement issues ('toys, visuals increase'), missing articles, and numerous punctuation breakdowns (e.g., commas used improperly or missing end punctuation). Sentences like 'due to such high burden and exagerrated learning, there rae higher chances of burnout for children' showcase basic errors ('rae') alongside complex structures. The frequency of mechanical and grammatical errors causes some difficulty for the reader, placing this at Band 5.

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