Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people contend that primary schools are more focused on formal learning. I completely agree with this opinion.Schools should focus on both formal and informal learning.

Learning is crucial for children especially when they are growing up. Learning can be from the books or it can be from playing games (informal learning). Both are important in primary schools. Books are vital for mental growth but sports is also very important for the growing bodies of children. Formal learning gives knowledge to a person but games will give the physical strength.Health brains need a healthy body. As the famous proverb says, all work and no play makes jack a dull boy. There should be a balance between both education. For example: when i was in primary school, i used to be bright student. As i grew up , school was more focused on classes of maths, science and etc with no classes for sports or games.As a result i got too much tired, and slowly gave up on on my good grades so i could play. But if there were both then i think i would have done better in primary school.

Games and sports have a positive impact on brain development. In primary schools, childern are still growing. Games give them a chance to interact with other childern and meake them learn how to make relations or friends.Moreover , It also gives them the confidence to accept failure without regretting. These two things are very important in practical life. Formal learning prepares them for jobs and finacial stability. Games will teach them how to refresh themselves when life gets tough and hard.

In conculsion, both are important for children but a balance should be developed between both. Excess of everything is bad. Children will learn more efficiently if they are fit and smart.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The writer clearly states their position regarding formal learning in primary schools and discusses the importance of play alongside learning. Ideas are extended with some relevant personal examples, such as the writer's own experience in primary school where a lack of sports led to fatigue. However, some arguments lack deep development and border on over-generalisation, such as the claim that games specifically teach children how to refresh themselves when life gets tough. Furthermore, the introduction is quite brief and repetitive. Overall, the response meets the requirements of the task adequately, placing it firmly at a band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with logical paragraphing, separating the introduction, body arguments regarding physical and social benefits, and a conclusion. However, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The transition words used, such as 'Moreover' and 'In conculsion', are basic. There are also referencing issues and punctuation spacing errors that detract from smooth flow, such as 'grew up , school' and missing spaces after commas. Paragraphs lack cohesive ties within them, leading to a slightly disjointed progression of ideas. These features align with the band 6.0 descriptors for coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

The student displays an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms such as 'crucial', 'mental growth', 'physical strength', and 'financial stability'. However, there are noticeable spelling and word choice errors, such as 'Health brains' instead of 'Healthy brains', 'childern' instead of 'children', 'finacial' instead of 'financial', and 'conculsion' instead of 'conclusion'. Less common lexical items are attempted but occasionally misused or awkwardly phrased, such as 'give up on my good grades'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the message clearly, despite the spelling slips, meriting a band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing conditionals ('if there were both then i think...') and relative clauses. There are, however, frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly missing capitalization for the pronoun 'i', extra spaces before punctuation marks, and awkward phrasing like 'both education' instead of 'both types of education'. While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede communication, as the writer's core message remains clear throughout. This balance of mixed structures and persistent errors corresponds well to the band 6.0 level.

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