Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.

To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.5)

Some people believe that primary schools place excessive emphasis on formal education. I largely agree with this view because young children can become overwhelmed by academic pressure, and I believe that play should be an essential part of classroom learning.

To begin with, an excessive focus on formal learning can have several negative effects on primary-school children. At this age, children are still developing their ability to concentrate for extended periods, so spending most of the school day completing textbooks, memorising information and preparing for tests may reduce their motivation to learn. Moreover, academic pressure can make education feel like an obligation rather than an enjoyable experience. For example, a child who is repeatedly required to complete worksheets and homework may gradually lose interest in subjects that they might otherwise enjoy. Therefore, schools should avoid treating academic achievement as the only measure of educational success.

In my view, play is equally important because it allows children to develop a wide range of social and practical skills. Games and recreational activities can improve communication, teamwork, creativity and problem-solving abilities while keeping children physically and mentally active. Importantly, play can also be incorporated into academic lessons. For instance, teachers can use educational games to teach basic mathematics, vocabulary or spelling, enabling children to learn concepts without feeling that they are engaged in traditional classroom work. This approach can make lessons more memorable and encourage greater participation.

In conclusion, I agree that some primary schools place too much emphasis on formal learning. Although academic subjects are undoubtedly important, children should have sufficient opportunities to play during the school day. A balanced combination of structured learning and purposeful play is more likely to support children's academic, social and emotional development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5

The response fully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The writer clearly states their position on the extent of formal learning in primary schools in the introduction and maintains this stance throughout the essay. The first body paragraph effectively outlines the negative effects of excessive academic pressure, citing examples such as completing textbooks and worksheets, which leads to a loss of motivation. The second body paragraph thoroughly addresses the importance of play, discussing how it fosters social and practical skills like communication and problem-solving, and illustrates how play can be integrated into academic lessons. Ideas are well-developed and supported with relevant examples, meeting the criteria for a high band score.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.5

Ideas are logically sequenced and progress naturally throughout the essay. The response is divided into four well-structured paragraphs, each serving a distinct purpose: introduction, negative effects of formal learning, the benefits of play, and conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'For example', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument without being obtrusive. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, ensuring that each new idea is introduced smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 7.5

The writer demonstrates a wide and flexible vocabulary appropriate for an academic essay. Less common lexical items are used skillfully and naturally, such as 'excessive emphasis', 'academic pressure', 'recreational activities', and 'purposeful play'. Collocations are generally natural, and word choice is precise throughout the text, as seen in phrases like 'treat academic achievement as the only measure' and 'support children's academic, social and emotional development'. Only occasional, very minor vocabulary slips would differentiate this from a top-tier band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.5

The essay displays a wide range of complex grammatical structures used with a high degree of accuracy. The majority of sentences are error-free, and the writer successfully employs subordinate clauses, conditional structures, and participial phrases, such as 'At this age, children are still developing their ability to concentrate...', and 'enabling children to learn concepts without feeling that they are engaged in traditional classroom work.' Punctuation and sentence boundaries are well controlled, and any minor slips do not impede communication.

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