Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people argue that primary schools focus too much on formal learning.
To what extent do you agree with this opinion?
How important do you think it is for children to play as well as learn in the primary school classroom?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 7.5)
Primary school education is pivotal in fostering children's cognitive development and knowledge acquisition. While some argue that these institutions place undue emphasis on formal learning, I contend that this is indeed the case, and I firmly believe that integrating play with study is of paramount importance in the early years of education.
There is a growing concern that contemporary primary education has become excessively oriented towards formal instruction, often at the expense of practical, hands-on learning. This pedagogical shift tends to prioritize rote memorization and textbook-based curriculum, as exemplified by the prevalence of standardized assessments that gauge students' ability to recall facts rather than their creative or critical thinking skills. For instance, students are frequently evaluated through written examinations that reward memorization, leaving little room for imaginative exploration or physical activities. This not only stifles intellectual curiosity but also undermines the holistic development of children, neglecting their physical and emotional well-being.
In the classroom, the conventional approach of lectures and assigned tasks may be effective for transmitting theoretical knowledge, but it often fails to engage young learners. Conversely, incorporating games and interactive activities into the learning process can significantly enhance comprehension and retention. For example, using word-based games to teach vocabulary can transform a monotonous lesson into an engaging and enjoyable experience, thereby fostering a lifelong love for learning. Moreover, play, whether indoors or outdoors, is instrumental in developing essential skills such as leadership, strategic thinking, cultural awareness, and discipline. These competencies are not only vital for academic success but also for personal growth and social integration.
In conclusion, while formal education undeniably provides a foundation for academic knowledge, primary schools must strike a balance by embedding play into the curriculum. It is imperative that children are given ample opportunities for recreational activities that complement classroom instruction. Educational policymakers and school authorities should recognize this need and take proactive measures to ensure a well-rounded education for future generations.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 7.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.5 |
| Overall | 7.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.5
The student fully addresses all parts of the two-part prompt. The essay adopts a clear, well-developed position throughout, agreeing that primary schools focus too much on formal learning and arguing strongly for the integration of play. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as the mention of standardized assessments and word-based games. The arguments are logical, well-rounded, and directly answer both questions regarding the extent of agreement and the importance of play. The response meets all criteria for a Band 8 by covering all parts thoroughly and developing ideas logically and effectively without omissions.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.5
The essay demonstrates a clear logical organization and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct central topic, moving smoothly from the introduction to the critique of formal learning, the benefits of play, and a concise conclusion. Cohesive devices are used flexibly and appropriately, such as 'Conversely,' 'Moreover,' and 'In conclusion.' Paragraphing is used skillfully to structure the argument. While cohesion is generally natural, minor shifts in referencing could be slightly tighter to reach Band 9 level, but overall it comfortably meets the standard for Band 8.
Lexical Resource: Band 7.5
The student demonstrates a wide and flexible vocabulary resource appropriate for an academic task. Less common lexical items are used skillfully, such as 'pivotal,' 'pedagogical shift,' 'rote memorization,' 'holistic development,' and 'instrumental.' Word choice and collocation are generally accurate, with only rare minor infelicities. The vocabulary allows the writer to convey precise meanings smoothly and effectively throughout the text, meeting the requirements for a Band 8 rating.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.5
The writer employs a wide range of complex structures with a high degree of flexibility and accuracy. Sentences such as 'While some argue that these institutions place undue emphasis on formal learning, I contend that this is indeed the case...' demonstrate excellent control over subordination and multi-clause constructions. The majority of sentences are error-free, and punctuation is handled correctly. Only occasional, very minor slips occur, easily justifying a Band 8 for grammatical range and accuracy.
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